Clyde Pride

Perhaps what makes a person successful is that they're never really satisfied with what they have or who they are. Maybe that's why we often see the rich and famous fall into a depression that is so deep they may never crawl out. I am in a constant battle with myself to be happy with who I am and yet push myself to achieve greater goals and faster times and I'm not certain it's possible. How do you achieve peace with who you are and still have a burning desire to get better?

On a recent podcast Joe Rogan talked about his theory that our natural state of worry and anxiety likely stems from our past where we had to be vigilant or be eaten by predators. This has manifested in a constant struggle between being thankful for what we have and always seeing the negatives in our lives to prevent becoming complacent.

I feel I have been a fairly successful person in my life. I have a great career, an amazing family and my physical pursuits have become notable. This November I completed Ironman Arizona in 11:57:39 at 250 lbs which placed me in the top third of the entire race which is dominated by the very skinny. However, my first thought when analyzing the race was that it must have been an easy course if I had gone that fast. It didn't occur to me immediately that the 1900 or so people I finished in front of had to complete the same course, I could only reconcile that because I'd beaten my previous personal best by almost 2 1/2 hours that it was nothing I had done, it must have been an act of god.

My body image is absolutely atrocious. Despite losing 75 lbs and doing things athletically that very few people can claim I still look in the mirror every morning, sigh, and hope that tomorrow I'm not fat. I see people walking around downtown that look great in their suits and the sad reality is that I would probably trade bodies with them in an instant because they look the way I'd like to look despite the fact that they likely couldn't do half of the things that I can with my body. But why am I so focused on looking a certain way? I have an amazing wife that loves me so why does my aesthetic matter? There's something wrong in our brain that values form over function.

My big goal for the upcoming year is to really celebrate how far I've come rather than focus on my imperfections, which are numerous. One of my "ah ha" moments recently was looking at my tattoos on the calf of my left leg and wondering why I bothered to get one to commemorate an Olympic distance (1500m swim, 40k bike, 10k run) triathlon. At the time it was such a huge accomplishment that it garnered a tattoo, but now I complete the distances in that race as a part of a training day. I realized I needed to look at it and remember that it was a big deal to finish that race and the fact that it's easy now shows how far I've come. It's a symbol of pride.

3 tatted calves

I'm a Clydesdale (endurance athlete over 220 lbs) and I need to embrace that. I'm never going to be skinny, I'm never going to win a race and I'm NEVER going to look good in a tight pair of pants. But what I am is everything I set out to be 6 years ago when I decided to get in shape. I need to stop looking at the last 10 pounds and start looking at the 75 that are gone. It's funny, every time I get to a new lower weight I'm excited. Then, when I stay at that weight for a while I get upset. It was an accomplishment to get there and it's an accomplishment to stay there. I don't need to change anything but my viewpoint. Easier said than done but it will be my new mantra and I work towards Ironman Texas this May.

This song makes no sense!!!

Music is a huge part of my training. A good song can change the tempo of a run and a bad one can bring you down. As I hear some of my favourite songs more and more I start to question what the hell some of the writers were thinking when they wrote them.

Snoop Dogg is widely regarded as a bad ass in the song Gin and Juice. But in a song praising liquor and marijuana he states "and the party's still jumpin' cause my momma ain't home." Really? You're a hard core gang banger! But if mom's home then the party's over? WEAK!

Nicki Minaj! In the song Your Love she's talking about a guy she loves and a dream sequence she had: "Anyway I think I met him in the sky When I was a Geisha he was a Samurai Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai."  AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Geishas and Samurai are Japanese. You're right! Speaking Thai would be weird! NOT ALL ASIANS ARE THE SAME!!!

Notorious B.I.G. A legend, without doubt and the man I've chosen to model myself after. At least the big part anyway. Big Poppa is a wicked song but there's always one part that makes me shake my head.  He says, "If you got a gun up in your waist please don't shoot up the place."  A very reasonable request. However, one of the members of his crew asks "why?" What the hell do you mean? Why should he not shoot up a night club? I don't know, maybe because murder isn't cool. Maybe random shootings are bad form. Great song, bad lyric.

Jay Z. Another wonderful rap artist. However in Can I Get A there's a lyric I finally had to look up because I was confused. He's explaining to a young lady that he is courting that if she decides to leave him he still has the goods on her because they had relations: "I'm talkin bout good livin are we here, you wit us? If not boo, you know what, I still F$%&ed you." After looking it up I'm much happier with the lyrics because what I heard every time was most disturbing. I heard "you know what, I still F%&# sheep." Why would he do that? He has Beyonce at home! I don't like to judge but I found it hard not to. Anyway, great artist but annunciation can be critical.

These are just the most egregious examples I can think of currently. Rap artists, please listen. Just because something rhymes doesn't mean it works in the song!!!

What Went Right?

It's been a little over a week since my breakthrough performance at Ironman Arizona and I've had a chance to really analyze what exactly happened to allow me to perform at a level I never thought I could achieve. I've broken it down into a few key areas that I think many people in my situation could really benefit from.  Once again, I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination but what I do have is experience. I'm now a 5-time Ironman finisher and with that comes 5 full "seasons" of training that are anywhere from 3 months to a year in length and there are a great deal of learning opportunities in there.

The first and most obvious difference I made in my life was diet. The past few races I've hovered around 275 lbs and this was where I thought I had stalled permanently. As I mentioned in my previous blog on diet , it doesn't matter how much you train, if you eat like trash you will not lose weight. I finally knuckled down and got back on Weight Watchers and carefully tracked my food. The result was a loss of 25 lbs between Ironman Coeur d'Alene in June and Ironman Arizona in November. Not having to haul 25 extra lbs around for 12 hours was a really big difference in my day.

The next big difference I noticed on race day was my footwear on the run. For some reason I've tried to wear minimalist shoes to run marathons. If you've seen me, there's nothing minimalist about me. I'm 250 lbs for crying out loud!!! By switching from shoes that are little more that a cover for your feet to a shoe that resembles the shoes you wear if one leg is shorter than the other I took the bulk of the ground's impact out of my legs. Thinking about the fact that a marathon is 42.2km of running and your stride is around a metre that's 21,000 times each foot will strike the ground. If you can take the impact out of each of those steps that's a major difference and the result was a marathon time over an hour faster than any I'd done before. I implore you, if you are having trouble running a minimum of 10km without walking, stop what you're doing right now and buy a pair of Hoka One Ones. Or if you just like running pain free, whatever your reason, you NEED these shoes!

Hoka One Ones. I believe that's Hawaiian for Foot Love (I haven't looked this up).

For the past year or so I'd been having trouble with my left knee and I had never really taken care of it. It was weak and would give out on me when I was skating and I finally got fed up to the point that I went to physiotherapy and got it looked after. I realized how bad it was when the physio had me do some comparative exercises to see how imbalanced I was; it was ridiculous. On the leg extension machine, where you essentially sit in a chair and straighten your leg, I was unable to even lift the pad without any additional weight on it. My leg would shake and then collapse. Yikes, I was basically getting around on one leg. In a sport where your legs do the bulk of the work taking away half of your power system is a poor decision. I really focused on doing my physio homework and I'm at a point now where my legs are approaching equality again. The proof is in the pudding, as they say, and I turned in a bike split that was not only almost an hour and a half faster than any race I'd ever done, it was almost 50 minutes faster than the average time for ANYONE on that course. After the bike leg I was in 45th out of 220 in my AG and 414 out of 2700 overall.

All of these changes are good, but ultimately it is your training that is going to get you over the finish line of an Ironman, or any race for that matter. When I first decided to do an Ironman I relied heavily on the tutelage of people that had done it before me. One of these mentors was Kevin Cochrane. Not only did I teach alongside Kevin but I was a student of his when I was in the 10th grade. Kevin is a MULTIPLE Ironman finisher, not sure exactly how many but over 10 anyway and I hold him in very high esteem. We were talking shortly before my first race and I was telling him how nervous I was and he gave me a piece of advice that I've kept with me since. Kevin said, "you've already done the work. You've been training hard and now you just go out and do it." I sat back and realized he was absolutely right. You don't finish an Ironman on the day of the race, it's the 4am training session before work or the 11pm session on holidays that gets you over the finish line. I've used his words in two ways, the first is to calm myself before a race but the second is during training. I channel the mantra that "today is why you finish Ironman" on training days when I'm just not feeling up to it. This pushes me through my little hiccup and allows me to finish up my set and get the maximum out of my training.

My coach Jeremy was absolutely critical and I would recommend everyone get a coach, or at least join a team where there is some accountability to your training. By nature you have to be self-motivated to finish an Ironman but it is so nice to have people to brag to about a great session. You can tell your friends and family about how well it's going but if they don't have an understanding of what exactly you're talking about you don't get the same feedback or celebration as you do from a group of like-minded athletes. Jeremy had me push my limits in terms of how hard I would train during my sessions. A great deal of my runs and rides were "tempo" where you pushed yourself beyond your comfortable pace for an extended period of time. This did a couple of things for me: it allowed me to train less because you get as much out of a session going hard for a short period of time as you do going for a long slow ride or run. Also, my body got used to going fast, so on race day when I was just coasting it was still a really quick pace. In training I was consistently running 8 minute miles for half hour sets, so on race day when I was cranking out 12 minute miles it felt like a slow jog and I maintained it for just over 5 hours.

Another major change I made from Coeur d'Alene to Arizona was a greater focus on weight training. I've read a number of triathletes who have focused more heavily on weights recently than in the past and they almost all agree that the biggest difference for them is the ability it gives them to push a little bit harder when they need it. Whether it's passing someone, summiting a hill or just enduring a little bit longer it gives them that boost. I don't lift particularly heavy, I'm not trying to bulk up, simply give myself enough strength to climb a hill with some speed.

I start my next training cycle on December 2nd for Ironman Texas taking place on May 17th. It's exciting to know that by focusing on strength, tempo and weight loss I should be in great shape heading into Ironman number 6.

Train hard my friends!

Ironman Arizona: A Love Story

Unfortunately for you guys this trip was about as good as it can be so there's not nearly as much to write about as past races.

Mom and I left on Friday morning which, in retrospect, was a poor decision. First off, it meant we had to be up at the crack of F$%& to get to the airport. Two days before an Ironman is not exactly the best time to be missing out on sleep. You're right in that final prep phase and even if it doesn't have a physical impact on your performance the potential is there for a mental impact. Convincing yourself you're tired can be just as bad as actually being tired. The other risk you run cutting it so close is missing check in because of a flight delay. For Ironman you MUST be there 2 days prior to race day to check in. There is plenty of stuff to do prior to race day so this is a reasonable request by WTC (the company that owns Ironman). I decided to go down on the Friday to save a night in a hotel but when I look at the fact that it costs around $2500 to do a race, saving $80 on a hotel is a stupid risk to take. IDIOT!

As it happened, my Uncle Bill and Aunty Penny were headed out of town that same morning and because they're gone for a few weeks they rode with us so they didn't have to park their vehicle at the airport the entire time. Uncle Bill is kind of a big deal and flies a ton so he had some guest passes to the Air Canada lounge. What a civilized way to travel. As I sipped my cappuccino and snacked upon pastries I looked down on the zombies sitting in the departures lounge I smirked a grinchy grin. But it didn't matter. Their planes came just the same. They came without cookies, they came without wine. They came without wifi or couches divine! Sorry, got on a roll there. Regardless, it was so nice to be able to enjoy the lounge and relax that early in the morning, THANKS UNCLE BILL AND AUNTY PENNY!!!

We got through Calgary and on to Phoenix with no problems and seeing the desert sun was a welcome sight. When we got to the rental counter we were prepared for everything the agent could throw at us.
Agent:  Insurance?
Mom:   We've got it covered!
A:  Want us to fill the tank for you?
M:  Are you high, we can drive to a gas station!
A:   Glass coverage?
M:  Nope, we'll tell you that chip was there when we got it!
A:   Additional driver?
M:  No, I'll drive.
A:  Do you live at the same address?
M:  No. (DAMN! They got us on a technicality. I booked the car on Priceline so I have to be a driver) 
A:   Bigger vehicle?
M:  Hmmmmm, ok.  (I've done Ironman with a full size and it's not terrible, you just have to break you bike down a little to get it in the vehicle. So we upgraded to an SUV. Very nice. Let's keep this upgrade train rolling)
A:   Costco member?
M:  Yeah, why?
A:   Oh, well it's a cheaper upgrade fee. Tell you what, I'll waive the additional driver fee too.

FINALLY! My charm and good looks get me something

We were so excited to be in the warm weather that we decided to start driving before the GPS had synced with a satellite, in no particular direction. As it turned out we guessed poorly and headed away from our hotel, but we did it with purpose and I think that needs to be commended.

We stayed at the Four Points by Sheraton in Tempe and it was great. Nothing amazing but a nice hotel close to the race site and the included breakfast was a nice surprise. They were also really supportive of the race and even had rags at the front desk for wiping down your bike so you didn't use your room towels. Great idea!

Friday evening was the traditional "carbo load" dinner so mom and I headed down to the event and, after a bit of off-roading, we found a sweet parking spot and headed into dinner. It was the standard chicken and pasta meal but they had a really nice seasoning on the chicken which was a nice surprise. It's an outdoor dinner but rather than sit at the tables mom and I decided to sit on the hill and eat and that was a really good decision. Not only was it nice to sit on the grass the setting made my deplorable table manners much less noticeable.

Saturday was a really nice day. After checking in my gear bags and bike we headed off to the outlet mall. I picked up some sweet deals on some skinny guy dress pants and some new Under Armour. The weirdest part of the day was the Christmas tree. Apparently the tree at the mall is the largest in the region and we were there on the day of the lighting. They had bleachers set up and people had staked out their spot before noon. Now on its own that would not be terribly weird, but the fact that it was 25 celcius and we were surrounded by cacti made it surreal.

That evening we went to the Arizona State football game. This is a real experience; I would encourage you all to try and get to an NCAA football game. The pageantry and tradition surrounding these games is just awesome. We stayed until half time as I needed to get some sleep but the show we saw up to that point was spectacular.

As I've mentioned before I try and learn something every race and improve upon it for the next time. This was no exception. I was always getting to the race site way too early so I timed it a little better at this race and arrived at 6am. This was perfect timing. It gave me enough time to get myself ready but not so much time that I was standing around bored. I did my standard bike check and to my chagrin my rear tire had popped over night. Fortunately the bike techs were amazing professionals and had my tube replaced and inflated in about 3 minutes.

Off to the swim start and this was a different experience than I've had before. Because of the nature of the venue it's a deep water start. This means that you're in the water floating around waiting for the start. I liked it because you really get acclimated to the water temperature and relaxed in your suit, and by that I mean you pee yourself. Before getting into the water I was chatting with a guy named Barry, bib number 2695 and I told him I'd look him up after the race to see how he did. I was absolutely thrilled when I looked him up and saw that he finished in 16:59:18. 42 SECONDS BEFORE MIDNIGHT! The last minute to qualify as an official Ironman finisher. So happy for him and I hope he gets to read this.

The water in Tempe is probably the only negative in this entire race. It's so murky that you can't even see your hand in front of your face. This wouldn't typically be a problem if you were just swimming but because of the concentration of people it makes for an uncomfortable swim. You are constantly swimming into people's feet and getting kicked in the face. It was a benefit to have enough experience in these events that I was able to keep calm despite the beating I took during the swim. It really was no one's fault and that makes it a lot easier to stomach. The organizer can't do anything about the water. The fact that we're swimming in a body of water in the middle of a desert is a miracle anyway so to complain about the water clarity would be ridiculous; and your fellow competitors can't see a thing so you can't blame them for slapping you around.

Overall the swim went exactly as expected, just keep moving and get out as best you can. As I stepped up onto the stairs my left calf cramped and I fell off the stairs back into the water. I grabbed the railing and pushed my foot into the stairs until it finally released. The amazing volunteers then lifted me out of the water and got my wetsuit off of me and I jogged into transition.

I mentioned I've learned from previous races and one of the things I tried this race was complete outfit changes. Typically I wore my tri suit under my wetsuit and just dealt with the wet and cold. One of the big downsides to a tri suit is that the chamois (pronounced "shammy") or butt pad is thin because it's designed for you to run in it after cycling. I decided to wear proper bike shorts which would take a little longer to put on but should lend a great deal more comfort over 180 km of cycling. This turned out to be a great decision and led to the best ride of my life.

The bike course is 3 loops of an out-and-back highway ride. It is fairly flat and can be mentally draining if you're having a tough day. Fortunately, I was having a great day! At first I was a little worried because I was passing people non-stop and flying at around 35km/hr on the outbound leg and on the return I was holding steady at 51km/hr. This sounds great but you start to wonder how you can possibly maintain this speed over the entire ride. After the first lap the wind turned on us and slowed up the group a little bit. Being a loop course I really enjoyed being able to time myself between familiar parts of the course. I really enjoyed focusing on pushing myself between different landmarks and seeing how I was progressing. At Ironman you're not allowed to listen to music while you race so you need to think about something. I finished up the bike leg in 5 hours 17 minutes.

Now, this bike ride went about as perfectly as you can expect but I did learn a valuable lesson. Knowing how fast I was going I did not want to stop for anything, even bathroom breaks. So, I stood up on my pedals, relaxed a little, and just peed. Ahh, sweet relief. However, I learned very quickly that if you have one foot at the top of the pedal stroke and one at the bottom your straight leg creates a very nice channel from your crotch to your shoe and it will quickly fill with pee. So, fellow triathletes, if you try this time saving technique keep your feet level with a bend in your leg so it will run off and onto the ground. Coincidentally my shoes now live outside the house permanently. (Kim says:  If anyone ever needed proof that I support Colin wholeheartedly with his tris, the fact that I washed his butt pad soaked pee pee bike shorts without tongs is it.)

In transition I again did a full outfit change. This went really quickly though, considering I even had to put on my fancy time consuming socks with a separate place for each toe. I threw on my Hoka One One runners and headed out of the tent. I felt pretty good considering how hard I hit the bike course and my legs quickly came around after the first mile or so. This run was a completely different experience than any other I've had. Typically I just try and survive the run and do a lot of walking. If I see some other poor sap walking along I strike up a conversation and try to chat away the miles. This race I was up with the serious competitors and they're not down for a chit chat, they're racing. This was great for me because there was no temptation to walk. Somehow I managed to run from aid station to aid station (1 mile apart) and only had to take extra walking breaks a couple of times.

I think the funniest thought I had was 3 hours into the marathon. I had done the math and realized that I could actually finish under 12 hours. "I just have to keep this pace for 2 more hours." That was it, just run this same speed for 2 more hours, and it didn't even phase me. Even 6 months ago thinking ahead by 2 hours into a run would have been ridiculous. There was very little that I could have done better during this run. I kept the same pace throughout, my nutrition was such that I never got nauseous or sloshy, and I learned one very important lesson. I learned how to be comfortable being uncomfortable. By that I mean that I was able to evaluate how my legs and lungs were feeling and even though they were burning, it was an amount that I could handle for a seemingly indefinite period of time.

Another lesson I learned will be very important for any future races in warmer climates. In swimming lessons we were taught that heat leaves our body from our head, armpits and crotch and so that we need to cover those areas if we're stuck in water. Using this I decided that to cool down on a run those are the areas I need to focus on. At the aid stations they hand out cups of water and I thought it would be a great idea to pour this ice into my crotch to keep cool. It worked pretty well, until a few aid stations in when I realized that I'd frozen myself solid. It didn't really hurt at this point it was just an odd feeling. No, the REAL pain comes when you begin to thaw out again. Anyone who shoveled snow as a kid remembers that feeling when you skin would thaw out after being outside for too long. That burning under your chin or your the tips of your fingers. This was EXACTLY like that, only on my jimmy junk! Yikes man! Lesson learned. The worst part is that when I got home and told my wife Kim about this story she looked at me and shook her head and said, "You said the exact same thing after Ironman Los Cabos you idiot!" Doh! Ok, lesson learned this time for sure!

Post race was just so awesome. I was so happy about my time that I didn't notice just how bad my legs were feeling. I grabbed a quick piece of pizza and a chocolate milk and found my mom to head back to the hotel. I actually didn't know what to do with myself because I usually finish so late in the evening that I go straight to bed but it was only about 8pm so there was plenty of evening left. I ate the amazing PF Chang's that mom had picked up for me and packed up my bike. After a bottle of champagne I crawled into bed and waited for my 2am hunger attack. This came right on time and I attacked the club sandwich I had waiting on the night stand.

I'm still truly stunned at how well this race went. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have crafted a situation in my mind that had me finishing under 13:15 so to go sub 12 was ridiculous. I have to thank my wife Kim for allowing me to spend stupid amounts of money on my hobby of triathlon and my mom for being my faithful sherpa and helping me get my stuff around the race. However, the greatest thanks for this result has to go to my coach Jeremy Potter who has put enough faith in me to give me workouts that were just unbelievably tough. He saw potential in me that I didn't see in myself and he pushed me beyond my limits. The biggest downside to a race day like this is the new bar that I've set for myself. I have no idea how I can replicate a day like this again but I thought that about this go 'round.

What do teachers do?

I'm going to stray outside of the triathlon world for a minute. The government of Alberta has really given little or no thought to education recently. We live in the richest province in the country and class sizes are growing and wages have been frozen. It is for this reason I'm seriously considering leaving the profession and pursuing a career as a firefighter. I wanted to explore what it is that I even do for society that the government would disregard my profession. We've all had teachers so there is a cursory understanding of the job. You plan lessons, you do marking, you take attendance; all the really exciting stuff. But it's the things you don't see that make a teacher's legacy. Being a teacher is not glamorous, it is not heroic and at the end of the day you don't have anything to show for your labour. I think that's probably the worst part of my job. The lack of evidence.

One of the summer jobs I held going through university was working on a concrete crew putting in sidewalks and bus pads. In a way I got more out of that job than I do out of teaching. I still drive past certain locations in town and proudly boast that I put that sidewalk there and it's still standing. Something I did is tangible and can be used. I don't have that in teaching. Not very often anyway.  I've yet to walk down a hallway at a school and overhear a student explaining to a classmate that "the way Mr. Hackett explained the Industrial Revolution was life changing." At best I'd get to hear, "at least that class wasn't too terrible."

I think some of the greatest things that teachers do go unheralded because the people who need the help the most have no one to tell. If you're one of the thousands, or probably even millions, of parents that ask your child what they learned at school on a given day you're already ahead of the game. The fact that you cared enough to ask puts your son or daughter in a position of power. There is a force at home echoing the desire of the teacher to "get to class and get your work done." I can't express how deflating it is as a teacher to make a phone call home to inform a parent that their son or daughter needs to make some changes to either their behaviour or their work ethic and to get the impression that it is just not a priority in that household. I often liken educating a student to creating a diamond out of coal, it requires pressure from all sides to transform; if the pressure is only coming from the teacher with no parent support...no good. Vice versa, if the parents are really pushing their child and they're not getting the support they need in the class...no good. It must be a concerted effort from all sides for that child to succeed.

The students, I believe, that get the most from a teacher are the ones that have nowhere else to go. I've been told that I'm a popular teacher and that kids like me. That's really cool and makes my job a lot easier. However, I estimate that in my 10 years of teaching somewhere between 2500 and 3000 students have passed through my class and I suspect I've only had a dramatic impact on less than 100. That is because in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada we're very lucky compared to the average population of the world. We are a rich, safe, healthy nation with well below average concerns. This means that most of our students come to school clothed, fed and rested. For the average student in Edmonton they can walk into any classroom and be taught by some of the best educated teachers in the world and it wouldn't matter who it was. This allows us to give a little extra time to those that really need it. The ones that maybe slept on the street the night before, or the ones that had their parents spend the last of their money on drugs so there's no food in the house. This is where teachers earn their money.

There are a few great days for teachers; having a student come back, look you in the eye, and sincerely tell you that they were on the wrong track but something you did hooked them and actually changed their life. I've had this happen three times and it is an amazing feeling. It can be something as innocuous as having welcomed them every morning, or it could be a more meaningful gesture like finding them clothes or food, but whatever it was, the actions you took made such a profound difference to this student that it changed the direction of their life. This is not humbling, quite the opposite in fact. It makes you feel like a friggin' super hero!

In addition to those visits I've had a few students that have picked me to share some of their darkest secrets. This can be a very tough situation for both of us. It might be the death of a parent, a pregnancy scare or something that needs to be dealt with criminally. Regardless, these are the things that you aren't taught how to deal with in university but are the most important moments of your career. It is these few opportunities where your instincts and decisions can have a lifetime impact for a very vulnerable person. I can only hope that my tutelage and mentoring have led these young people in a positive direction. Whether it was just being a sounding board for their anxiety about becoming a parent or helping them navigate the government system to get assistance to leave a bad home situation, the role I played was a crucial one in their life.

It is not always as simple as dealing with a student's personal problem. Without a doubt the saddest and most meaningful day of my career was the day I was asked to eulogize a student. Craig played on my football team the year prior and apparently I had made such an impact that his mother felt I would do his memory justice. I was honoured to be looked at in this light, that something I had done put me in high enough standing that I was asked to speak at his funeral. It was surprisingly easy to write Craig's eulogy; in retrospect I think it was because I had taken the time to get to know him so the memories I spoke about were my own and were meaningful. This is one of the moments when you understand your impact on your students.

I find it funny that, essentially, I am paid by the government to teach a group of students a certain set of curriculum and do all the associated planning and marking. And I carry out my charge dutifully and to the best of my ability. However, the greatest impact I have in this world almost never happens during a time that I'm being paid. It is almost exclusively outside of the classroom. Whether it's a lonely student that finds me outside of class time, during my volunteer coaching, or on a trip to Europe to see Canada's World War I and II battlefields, that is when I have my greatest impact.

If you're in a position where you start to question, "why do we pay these teachers so much, they just teach our kids some basic things and then go home at 3:30. Plus they get the summers off" pat yourself on the back because you're probably a really good parent. I'm being serious, if the only role a teacher plays in your child's life is that of educator you're doing most of the heavy lifting and you should be commended. However, you need to know that there are going to be a number of students in your son or daughter's class that do not have the privileged upbringing that your child has. There will be teachers that are making secret deals with the cafeteria to feed them, or bringing clothing from their home so that they have a warm jacket to wear when it starts to snow. You won't know about it because these teachers will just do these things because it's right and it's what needs to be done so that child can learn but it is happening.  

Fellas, a little decorum in the locker room. PLEASE!!!

For any of my female readers, be warned that you are going to get an inside look at a male locker room. You can't unread this!

For the past 6 weeks I have been a member at a nice gym and have the luxury of accessing the Plus locker room. This is really a nice place work out. We have a steam room, leather chairs to watch the big flat screen TV,  free shaving supplies and all the towels you could ever need. However, some of the fellas in this swanky establishment have decided that they've been contained too long and that from now on they will let their freak flag (and other appendages) fly.

The steam room is in the locker room. The sign on the door states that using a towel is required. PHEW, I thought, I don't need to see a bunch of hot sweaty dudes with their business just flopping around. WRONG! The towels are apparently for sitting on in the steam room. Once you've sat down it's no big deal, I guess, to just let it all hang out. I've seen plenty of man meat having been on sports teams for years and years but in that context it was usually just in the showers and when guys were changing. But this is an attack! It would take a simple flick of the wrist to cover your junk with a piece of cotton and really, is it so critical that your dork get its daily dose of steam?

There is one violator in particular that makes me especially uncomfortable. In all my interactions with this guy he's been very cordial but when the towel hits the floor it's a different story. This gentleman is heavily tattooed and AGGRESSIVELY pierced. Like, really aggressively. He uses the steam room as his yoga studio. His very hot, steamy, NAKED, yoga studio. Usually it's just odd poses over in his seated position but occasionally he finds the need for some full on stand up yoga and downward dog produces unsightly backsack. C'mon man! And the flashing jewelry on your shlong causes a natural instinct to see where that light was coming from. You know where it's coming from? The very tip of the problem! I am intrigued. How do you pee straight with that? Are you condemned to a lifetime of seated peeing? That's the greatest part of mandom, the standing pee is a birthright and one of the proudest moments of my life was when my son graduated to this from the emasculating Winnie the Pooh seated potty. I cannot foresee a situation where driving a piece of steel through your wang is an upgrade. If you claim that it makes sex better, YOU WERE DOING IT WRONG BEFORE!

This need to let it breathe has apparently "extended" (see what I did there) into the TV area. A number of these aged fellas do the courtesy of laying a towel down on the furniture but once again feel the need to be open with everyone about what they're packing. Just sitting there, watching TV, naked. I've heard men do most of their thinking with their downstairs member, maybe as you age you do most of your viewing with it too? I dunno. I'm really not a prude, I just don't see the need for unnecessary nudity (by dudes). I'm not asking you to wear a 3-piece suit in the locker room, just a quick towel wrap.   

We're all in this together fellas. I know I'm no treat to see sans clothing but I'm almost always covered and I do my clothing changes faster than a Vegas magician just to avoid any unwanted exposure. If you just commit to a little coverage and absolutely ZERO naked conversations we can all be friends and get on with our day.

Check In October 2013

For those that have been following my journey I really appreciate the support I've gotten from so many of you. I thought I'd just do a quick update into how my training has been going so far.

I'm just over a month from Ironman Arizona and I'm absolutely exhausted. My coach, Jeremy, has me doing some pretty intense workouts. Most of my weekday workouts feature intense periods of sprinting and these are hammering my legs. Additionally, I've been lifting weights and doing abs every weekday so I'm putting in about 2-3 hours of training every day. Much like the illustrious Ron Burgundy I don't have much time so I have to sculpt my guns at the office.

On top of this I referee hockey and this year I was promoted to refereeing Jr B hockey (players 18-22 years old). This requires a great deal of skating as well as traveling to small towns around the area so my time is very full. I still find the travel a little stressful after last year's moose hunt. My friend Tyler and I were on our way to officiate a senior men's hockey game a little over an hour from our hometown and about 15 minutes from our destination we struck a moose that was just standing in the road.

This stretch of road was so dark that we had no chance to avoid this big dumb animal. I said, "MOOSE!" and we hit it almost instantly. Fortunately there was no oncoming traffic as we spun into the opposite ditch.

Shockingly Tyler and I were unhurt except for a scratch on Tyler's hand and his capped front teeth popped off a couple of days later. Most likely from the airbag. However, there was glass EVERYWHERE. In my teeth, hair, ears, the cuffs of my pants. The worst part was the moose hair. It came through the windshield and smelled like hell. 

 I called 911 and then after explaining what happened the dispatcher  asked where we were. I told her I thought we were about 20km from Athabasca on Hwy 2. She replied, "our GPS shows you about 200 m past Range Road (blah blah blah)." I said, "then that's where we are!" Was she testing me? What the hell? 

It was so dark that after the police arrived and put out pylons to divert traffic the first semi trailer that came by ran over all of the cones and the RCMP called for another car to come with flashing cones. During this time the local official that was waiting for us had been calling to get updates on our situation and finally asked "what do you want me to do about the game?" I finally had enough and I said "I don't give a F&$@, we almost died."

Finally the RCMP got us loaded into the police car, with our hockey bags. Apparently someone in town had run over a light post so the cop had a traffic light in the trunk so there was no room for equipment. If you've ever been in the back of a police car you'll know it is not spacious. We were crammed in there pretty good. This experience has stayed with me and since then I hold the wheel a little tighter and drive a little slower.

I started a new job in September working at Centre High. This is the school for all students in Edmonton to go to after their 3 regular years of high school. My position is split between the Emergency Response Career Pathways (ERCP) program and Phys Ed. In PE my role is to assist with anything they need and if they're all working, I can work out. This has been awesome. I lead by example and get many of my workouts completed during the work day. The ERCP program is AWESOME. Block 1 we do physical training with them every day and it's intense. These students are all interested in careers as police officers, fire fighters or paramedics and we hold them to a high standard. We started with 83 and after pushing them hard for a month are down to a very committed 56. Block 2 the students are instructed by working professionals in the various fields and if they complete levels 1 and 2 can graduate the course with their gun license, H2S gas, SCBA cert, first aid, and EMR certification. They also get to participate in a "live burn" with the Edmonton Fire Department where they get fully kitted up and sit inside a simulated garage fire that reaches well over 1700 F. What an unreal job I have.

I joke with my wife that I'm basically the world's crappiest professional triathlete. Working out 3 hours a day, drinking smoothies and creating more laundry than my wife can hope to keep up with. When I work out I sweat. I sweat a lot. I have to take a shower towel with me to the treadmill to try and mop myself up as I go. This means I need more wardrobe changes than Liberace and packing my gym bag in the morning looks more like I'm preparing for a week in Vegas than a day of training. 

Despite my exhaustion I'm putting up the best times and lowest body weights I've ever experienced. I'm holding steady at just under 255lbs and this includes some added muscle from lifting. If I can maintain or lower the weight I will be 20 lbs lighter than Ironman Coeur d'Alene last June and 30 lbs lighter than my first Ironman. Thursday I again set my best time for a 10Km run finishing in 54:20. I was very proud and despite being completely obliterated I walked toward the change room basically strutting and as I passed a particularly cute blonde I saw her shoot me a funny look. I looked down to see what she was looking at and saw a trail of blood from my right nipple down to almost my waist. I was riding such a high I didn't feel it... until I got in the shower and the water hit me. KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS THAT HURT! (Note to self: read own blog about run training) 

It's funny, I'm actually worried that I'm having so much success in my training. The skinnier and faster I get the more my focus is shifting from "just finish" to goals that are more time oriented. I've always made fun of the athletes that cross the finish line and then pout about their time. I was always sick about seeing someone finish an Ironman and not be proud. That's not what it's about for me and I hope beyond hope that I don't become "that guy."