Ironman Muskoka - Yikes Bikes

After my disappointing result at Ironman Coeur d'Alene I was excited to get a shot at redemption at Muskoka. Muskoka is a region about 2 hours north of Toronto. I left Edmonton at 730 am on Wednesday. My brother in law Dave was good enough to drive me to the airport and only wanted hot chocolate in payment, not a bad deal!

Since my uncle uses his aeroplan upgrade on me I'm a 50k member which means I get to use the express check in at Air Canada so I breeze through check in now. At least usually. For whatever reason, this time security wanted me to unpack my entire bike for them to inspect. Ugh. The big problem is that I don't just put my bike in the case. I also put all of my triathlon accessories in there. Shoes, helmet, wetsuit, etc. and this is all done very carefully to maximize my room. Needless to say I was not thrilled at this but I smilingly obliged because what else can you do?

After satisfying the pleasant security lady I threw my bag on the conveyor and made my way to passenger screening. This is also a breeze as I've got my NEXUS card which means I'm pre-screened by U.S. Customs and get to use the express lane. The great payoff with these express lanes is lounge time. The biggest benefit to my 50K status with Air Canada is use of the lounge.

I found a chair in front the TV and watched highlights as I ate my oatmeal and sipped my cappuccino. I was only interrupted once when I was paged to the front counter. The nice lady at the desk told me there was room in business class so I was being upgraded. HOLLA! I've had the pleasure of flying business a few times and it is just awesome. 

As soon as the first page was made I hustled onto the plane and set myself up for the flight. The flight attendant brought me an orange juice so I had something to sip as I reviewed the breakfast menu. I selected the fruit plate as I was already quite full from my lounge breakfast. I was worried this flight was going to be frustrating because as we taxied apparently someone's emotional support dog needed its own support dog to stop it from barking. After take off, however, the dog quieted down and we didn't hear from it again. 

Airplane food. I can dig it!

SIDEBAR: When did we decide that dogs needed to go everywhere we go? Restaurants, sporting events, plane rides. Enough man, leave the dog.

I decided that even though it's quite a bit further to go from Ottawa than Toronto I would do the extra drive so I could check out our nation's capital. That's right my foreign readers, Ottawa is the capital of Canada not Toronto. Toronto is the capital of the universe (at least according to Torontonians).

PRO TIP: When you rent a car, pre book the smallest car you can be happy with. Then, when you go to pick it up ask how much it would be for a larger vehicle. It's almost always much cheaper than booking the bigger vehicle ahead of time. 

I decided to go with a pickup as it was easier to transport my bike that way and that was a great decision. And it was only $5 more per day. I sent a quick message to the family I was staying with and told them that I'd be in Muskoka in a few hours. Turns out that was Alberta time. As a hurtin' Albertan I looked at the map and it said about 300km. So, it should take me 2:45 to get there. NOPE. The highway between Ottawa and Muskoka is a windy back country road that hits every small town you've never wanted to see. And there seems to be no rhyme nor reason to the design of these roads. They are more crooked than a politician and just as slow. This drive turned out to be closer to 5 hours and I arrived in Muskoka tired and ready to eat. 

Fortunately, the Hayes clan were ready for me and we sat down to eat right away. I became friends with Stu, the father of the group, after chatting on the Internet. He is one of my faithful of readers and when I went to Toronto to speak he took me for dinner and drinks and we really hit it off. So when he saw I was doing the same race he was he invited me to come and stay with his family at a beautiful cottage right on the water at Lake of Bays. 

Stu's wife Julie is an absolute angel and took great care of me while I was there and their kids Liam (15) and Logan (12) are a pair of sweethearts. They made me feel right at home and even let me stay in the bunkhouse so I had my own little place. 

I had heard some frightening tales about the Muskoka bike course so I was glad when Stu said we were going to go for a ride and check out part of it. I was thrilled to see that the hills were a series of rollers rather than long sustained climbs. My body is designed to take on a short hill and then recover, I don't do well with the long ones. Plus, my weight helps me carry some speed into the next climb. We went out for an hour and then back and the only hill I struggled with wasn't even on the course. It was a grinder on the road between our cottage and the main road. 

After getting back I was tired but very happy. Not only was I glad the course wasn't as daunting as I had expected but I also felt great. My liver has been acting up for the last 2 weeks and as recently as last Friday I wasn't even sure I'd be able to travel. This ride was the first exercise I had done in 2 weeks and it went well. 

After a nice supper we sat down and watched Taken 2 and just hung out. It is so nice to have people to hang out with. When I go to races alone I often hang out at Walmart and buy things I don't need in order to pass the time. I made my way to bed a little early as we had an early wake up Friday for the Sunrise Swim.

The alarm went off at 540 am and I couldn't believe when I looked at the clock. I had slept through the night for the first time in 2 weeks. I hadn't been awoken by severe itching or belly pain. Things were finally looking up. 

Stu and I jumped in the truck and made our way to the swim start. This Sunrise Swim is a fundraiser for the local hospice and was only dreamed up a month ago. Being it was such short notice they didn't think it was going to be much but 125 people signed up and I think they're going to need to look at relocating next year. It was such a great time I think they'll be much bigger in the years to come. 

We went off in waves of 20 and Stu and I were wave 3. The water was perfect and there was enough room that I didn't hit anyone during the entire thing. The course was out around a small island and back and measured about a mile. The coolest part was that 50m from shore was a floating coffee bar and I jumped out and had some joe and a juice. After enjoying my locally roasted Muskoka coffee I swam the final small leg back and grabbed some breakfast. The highlight of which were the cinnamon buns from the local bakery. They reminded me of the ones my mom makes from my great-grandma's recipe. Om nom nom. 

Stu had contacted the swim's organizer, Rich, about me possibly speaking and they were good enough to give me the opportunity. So as things were getting ready to come to a close they gave me the mic and I shared my story in hopes that:

1) people will see that cancer is a living sentence, not a life sentence (thanks for this Stu) and,

2) athletes will ignore the fact that they're healthy and get regular checkups. 

Me and swim organizer Dr. Rich Trenholm

People seemed very receptive to my talk again; but like I said, you've gotta be a special sort of mean to boo a cancer patient :) 

We retired back to the cottage and relaxed for most of the rest of Friday. I watered up, got some salt in and took a nap. 

One of the unfortunate things about races is that most of them have done away with the athlete dinner. Instead they have opted to include a voucher in your package for a local restaurant. This is cool as it helps get the community on board but it was nice to sit down with your fellow athletes at other races. Anyway, the Hayes and I decided to go to 3 guys and a stove for supper and this was a great decision. The food was absolute spectacular. I had the BBQ plate and it was chicken, ribs and brisket cooked perfectly. Ontario is not known for its BBQ but this was superb. 

Once home we watched The Blind Side and chilled. I managed to hold it together this time and that was good because the first time I saw this film I was on an airplane and I bawled like a teenage girl. Such a tough guy. 

Saturday was pretty chill. We turned our bikes and transition bags in and relaxed. I took a chance to walk Main Street and see Huntsville. It's a cool little town with lots of boutiques and restaurants. It was an early bed time as tomorrow was the big day.

Me and my little buddy Logan in a giant Muskoka chair.

RACE DAY

The alarm went off at 5am but, as usual this wasn't a big surprise as I'd been up every couple of hours to check my watch to make sure I hadn't slept it. I threw on my sweat suit and headed into the main house for some coffee. After a small breakfast of some bars and a banana Stu and I quietly made our way to the truck trying not to wake anyone. At this point I missed the unlock button on the remote and hit the panic button setting off the truck's alarm. Real smooth.

It was about a 20 minute drive to the shuttles so we headed down the road and onto the buses. We got to transition with about 15 minutes left before it closed. This is perfect as some races I've been too early and you stand around and go crazy. We made the 5 minute walk to the swim start and got our wetsuits on and seeded ourselves based on expected finish time. 

The new trickle start is so much better than the mass starts were. It's a swim, not an MMA fight so having open water around you is really nice. 

The horn went off and we made our way into the water. The water was a little colder than I had expected but after 100m or so I warmed up and was quite comfortable. I had my suit on well and was gliding pretty nicely. I only took one shot during the swim and it was a kick to the jaw that slammed my teeth together but that's Ironman. It was a single loop course and so there was no break and you seem to go out forever. But when you make that turn to head home you know you've covered some good ground. 

I came out of the water in 1:26 which is slower than I'd like but considering my training schedule lately wasn't too bad. My health has been wonky lately so days when I feel good I focus on the bike or run and the swim has to wait. 

The run up to transition was quite far and was on an asphalt golf cart path so it was tough on the tootsies. I gingerly made my way inside to the bags and started getting dressed. This was unusual as transition was inside a ballroom of a conference centre. Normally it's a tent in a field so this was trés posh. I threw on my bike kit and was off. 

THE BIKE FROM HELL

When I left transition and got to my bike at the racks some ass hat had knocked it over and it was sitting on its side. This did not impress me but I picked it up and went on my way. The biggest downside was that when my bike got knocked over about 2/3 of my water had spilled but I didn't notice and I ran out of fluid about 5km in. The ride started out as normal as any other. There's a tough little section leaving Huntsville where you have as one quick up and downs and then it's relatively easy for 15km or so. At the first aid at 26km I was feeling good and trucking along. 

Just after leaving this stop I felt a feeling I knew all to well. I got nauseous, and then I felt a warm sensation all across my abdomen. SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT THE REAL DETAILS. I had pooped and because my spandex holds my bag firmly against my stomach there's nowhere for the stuff to go so it goes EVERYWHERE. Unfortunately I have no way to predict when this will happen and I don't have the ability to clench. There's no muscle there. I was 25km from the next station so I soldiered on but I knew what I was facing when I got there. It was shortly after this my chain dropped for the first time. This isn't a huge delay but it is a hassle. You have to get off and manually get your chain back onto the crank. Any time you stop your bike your time suffers so that's a pain. When I got to Dorset I pulled into the aid station and quickly got into the porta potty. This situation required 10 minutes, 2 bottles of water and a half a roll of TP to deal with. I know it's gross but this is what I have to deal with. I dealt with it as best I could and got back to it. Fortunately that was the last time I had an issue with that this race but it was plenty. 

The next 70km were fairly uneventful save for two more chain drops. Stu and I had ridden 2 hours just a couple days before and my bike was functioning perfectly so I figure whoever dropped my bike in transition bent or misaligned something. Thanks homie! 

The fourth time my chain came off was the big issue. Instead of coming off my crank (the front gear by the pedals) it came of my rear casette, and to the inside. When this happened it immediate seized my rear wheel and threw me into the ditch. This is actually fortunate as the roads were open and a car could easily have hit me had I gone the other side. Luckily I was climbing out of Dorset and was only doing about 10km/hr so I didn't get hurt, just a few scrapes. There was an aid station just up the road (at 121km) so I road towards it and now my chain started slipping. Every couple of pedal strokes it would slip and catch. I pulled into the aid station and requested a mechanic. Fortunately there was one on the spot and he made a few adjustments to what he thought was wrong and sent me on my way. 

Mechanic 1

This adjustments had no impact on my bike and I spent the next 25km cursing my bike as the chain slipped and clunked. I arrived at the next pit stop around 146km and once again requested a mechanic. This time a van rolled up with a whole set up. He had a bike stand and all the tools. Nice! After trying similar adjustments as the first guy he realized one of my chain links had actually twisted and when it passed over the gears it would jump. So, now it was time for a total chain replacement. As you can imagine this takes some time and then I had to quickly jot down my info so they can bill me for the chain. Totally fair but Kim always gives me a hard time for my shopping at Ironman. Now I've discovered a way to actually spend money DURING the race! 

Mechanic 2

I got back on the road about 40 minutes later and was thrilled at how my bike felt. It was like a new ride. It responded to everything and was just awesome. I was checking the time as I needed to be into transition by 5pm and I had to push it a little to make sure I would get there. I didn't have another issue the rest of the bike. Except for the hills but that's my problem. The Muskoka bike course prides itself on being one of the toughest on the circuit. With 7300 feet of climbing it tests anyone and when you're already having a day from hell it's even trickier. There's one hill in particular at about 80km and 160km that is not very long but is straight up. On the first lap I rode it but it spiked my heart rate and I felt it for a while. I decided that on lap 2 I would walk it and it turned out to be a great decision. I watched a guy ahead of me stand on his pedals and really push it. Then at the top he got off and tried to recover. I walked past him, got on my bike and never saw him again. 

The last 8km back into Huntsville is the worst part. There's a couple of climbs that test your will. Admittedly I had to rest on both of them but I got up. After summiting the final hill you can cruise into Huntsville for about 2km. I arrived at 445pm. 15 minutes before the bike cutoff and about 8 hours and 10 minutes after I started my bike. Ugh. 

I made my way into transition and finally got to try my custom Sugoi race kit. It's super comfortable and looks damn good I must say! I headed out the door and was onto the course at exactly 500pm giving me exactly 7 hours to do the marathon. This meant I had to maintain 10 minute kilometers or better to finish by midnight. I hit km 1 in 8:30 and was happy but by km 5 my pace had dropped and now they were taking over 10 minutes. Just before the 8km mark I did the math and there was just no way I was going to cross the line by midnight. I contemplated continuing on for the sake of it but being that I race again in 4 weeks I thought better of it. Why torture myself fruitlessly? The aid station called for a ride and once again my Ironman ended in a pickup truck. 

This time made me particularly angry as it was some outside influences that helped to stop me, but that's the nature of the beast. After heading back to the start area I changed into my dry clothes and grabbed some pizza and pasta and hung out. Eventually I made my way to the finish area to wait for Stu to watch him finish. It was tough watching everyone cross the line as I know that feeling and really wanted it this time. 

From Muskoka I headed off to Ottawa and a tour of the capital.

National War Memorial

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

I decided to pay homage to my late father during lunch. He always said his favorite meal was a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese while sitting on a rock. I couldn't find a rock but I did make my way down to the Rideau Canal and sat and thought about him. It was a really nice afternoon. 

I'm looking forward to getting home and getting back at training. I need to as I've got Ironman Chattanooga in less than 4 weeks. Animo!

The Old College Tri

Ironman Coeur d'Alene was to be Ironman #8 on the way to 12 to get to Kona. Unfortunately it didn't work out but that's actually ok. In the previous 6 weeks I have had 4 procedures to get my liver working again. While my liver was not functioning properly I didn't ride or run the entire time. 6 weeks off of training leading into an Ironman is not the best strategy. Although I did have fresh legs.

The week started out Monday with my regular oncological appointment and blood work. Thankfully everything was good but my doctor was left shaking his head. I told him my plan for the weekend and he just laughed and told me "just don't do anything stupid." I promised a

I wouldn't and went out to the receptionist to get my chemo appointment. I had chemo on Tuesday and that lasts until about noon on Thursday.

I left with my buddy Kris on Thursday and we went about half way to Coeur d'Alene. It was a nice drive and great to share it with a long time friend. Kris was doing his 3rd Ironman and so he had experience so we had a chance to talk about racing and we knew what we were taking about. 

On Friday we were up early and on the road. We got to the border about 11 and were thrilled how good the border guards were. They had a couple of quick questions but let us through pretty quickly. We got in to Coeur d'Alene about 1 o'clock and after checking in to the hotel headed down to Ironman Village to register. This has become anti-climactic; it used to be a really exciting time. Getting your wrist band and checking out the cool tents. Now, unfortunately, it's become more of a chore as it's just another step towards racing. However, we got our stuff and headed out onto the race course so Kris could see it once before racing it Sunday.

One of the biggest breaks for Kris and me was that the Martinez family were in town to race and had rented a basement suite with a parking spot across the street from transition. This is the Martinez family from the famous Animo story so they're great friends and were so generous to share their place with us when we needed parking or a cold drink.

The bike course is not overly technical but it is fairly hilly. And it's not rolling hills, it's significant climbs separated by flats. These long slow climbs can be quite draining physically and mentally so it's nice to see where they end so you can plan for it. After course recon we headed back to the room for a rest before going to Ted 2. I LOVE watching movies at Ironman for a few of reasons. You get to sit in a cool room, relax and take your mind off the race. We got out about 10 and were starving so we jumped across the street for some pizza. Unfortunately the place had just closed so we asked for a recommendation and they told us to try Pepe Caldo. 

We punched this place into the GPS and headed up the hill. We found it pretty easily but upon arrival I decided that the ramp section of the sidewalk was for chumps and launched over the curb and into a spot. I don't take the easy road,sometimes literally. I was confused at first as the front area of the pizza place is also a skateboard shop and I thought I'd gone in the wrong door. Upon further investigation there were pizza ovens in the back so we made our way to the counter and started talking with the two people working. It quickly became evident that they were the owners and were VERY passionate about their business and it showed. After a great chat we made off with our gigantic pizza and headed back to the room.

Saturday, we got up fairly early and packed our transition bags and bikes. We hauled them into transition and after getting them settled we picked up my friend Sarah and her mom and headed into Spokane for some shopping and lunch. The original plan was to continue my tradition and have P.F. Chang's as my day-before meal. Unfortuately Hoop Fest was also on this weekend. This is the largest 3 on 3 basketball tournament in the world and P.F. Chang's is right in the middle of the mayhem. We opted not to go to Chang's and instead went across from the mall to Dragon House.

We met Kris' dad and step-mom at this point and he was so generous and picked up the cheque. Unfortunately, this was the worst Chinese food I've ever had. It was over-sauced and under flavoured. The weirdest part was that they provided crackers with the won ton soup and ketchup and mustard with the main meal. So very very odd.

We headed back to Coeur d'Alene and rested up for the torture test that was to take place the next day. We set our alarms for the ridiculous time of 4am becuase the temperature was predicted to be so hot that Ironman decided to start an hour earlier. This was to protect the pros as much as possible as it meant they would spend less time in the heat. It sucked for us regular folks but we were gonna spend all day in the heat anyway so no big deal.

When the alarm went off it was WAY too early but we had laid out everything the night before so it was essentially grab and go. I knew it was going to be a hot day when, at 4:30am, I was perfectly comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt. Normally I wear sweat pants and a hoodie to the race site as it's too cold otherwise. We met Carlos and Roxi and got all of our stuff together. Roxi was so awesome and handled all of our gear and car keys, etc. so we had nothing to worry about.

We headed down to the swim start area and warmed up and then found our starting area. In Coeur d'Alene you seed yourself based on expected swim finish time and it's great because you don't have to fight with faster people going over the top of you.

The water was much warmer than the previous time I competed here so that was a nice little bonus. When the horn went off I waded into the water and started swimming. This is a really interesting part of an Ironman because you can't win the race here or even get too far ahead, BUT, you can really screw it up. You need to focus on your breathing and controlling your pace. Going off too fast at the start of the swim can make you hyper-ventilate and that's what induces panic. I was really happy with my performance in the water. I came out in 1:24, which is my slowest swim to date, but considering the issues I'd battled leading up to the race I was happy.

Transition took a lot longer than usual. This was because I had a whole new step in my transition. The colostomy bag change. This is a bit graphic but unfortunately my bag didn't hold through the swim so I had a clean up on aisle 7 before I could get out on my bike. Before you can put on a new bag you need to dry the skin completely so this took time but it's my new reality. I was using the Coloplast one-piece bags and they provide an awesome benefit. They don't have a hard ring that pinches when you move and they are self-adhesive so I didn't need to carry paste with me. I had pre-cut 10 of these bags and put 5 in each of my transition bags.

I got on the bike and was careful to start out easy. The bike course is a two-loop course and features two out and backs. The first is a short loop with a short steep hill. I spun this hill and it was very easy. After coming back through town you head out onto the bigger loop. Fairly soon after starting you hit the big hill on the course. It's a 2 mile 6% grade climb. Again, I spun my legs and didn't try to power up the hill and instead just rode easily. This strategy paid off and I never lost my breath. For those that haven't attempted a distance race like this you need to understand the emotional roller coaster you go on. Going up a hill you swear you're going to die or at least spontaneously combust. Then, when you crest that hill and start coasting down it's like angels are singing. Managing the emotional game is just as important as managing the physical part of the race.

As I finished the first 56-mile loop I felt great and saw Roxi and our friend Lisa on the course cheering. I gave them a big smile and a wave and headed off feeling great. Unfortunately 4 miles later I realized my day was over. The temperature was hitting the high of 41 Celcius (104 F) and although I wasn't at a point where I needed to stop, I knew I wasn't going to finish and punishing myself further would not be safe. I kept hearing my doctor telling me not to do anything stupid and I pulled off to the side of the road and flagged down an official. They put in a call for SAG to come and pick me up and I waited next to the road. When the truck showed up he loaded up my bike and my carcass and I joined the other 3 riders already in the truck. He said it was already a busy day and I could tell by the radio traffic asking for pick ups.

After getting dropped off at transition I found Roxi and Lisa and hung out with them. I grabbed my phone and called Kim to tell her what had happened and she was really happy to hear from me. I can only imagine the stress when you see times stop showing up online. You wonder if there's been a crash or something awful has happened. After a quick cry I realized that it was ok. In fact,

after checking the results I saw that 70 people just in my age group dropped out. Nearly 1/3.

I returned to the hotel and grabbed a burger and a nap. After waking up I headed background to the race to cheer on Chris, Carlos and Sarah. Sarah,

The amazing little med student racer turned in around a 12:30 but didn't look super happy coming in. Carlos was a couple of hours later around 14:20. I realized just how hot it was when I was just watching the race and the sidewalk was too hot to even sit on. 

I began to worry about Kris' ability to finish. It was getting late in the day and I was constantly checking in with Kim o see his progress. Unfortunately, the online tracker wasn't working propey so it said that Kris had 2 miles left and only 28 minutes to do it. This would mean he would have to pick up his pace quite a bit to bear the 17 hour cutoff. Needless to say I was thrilled when he showed  up with 19 minutes to go before the cut off. 

Because I had an athlete wrist band I was able to get into the finishers area and hang out with him while he recovered. This was nice because it can be lonely back there when you don't know anyone. After some pizza and a sandwich he was ready to head back to the room. I had already loaded up his stuff so we just had to jump in the van and go. 

After getting back to the room it was pretty easy to fall asleep and we drifted off to get ready for the 11 hour drive home the next day. 

Waiting and staying positive

Without a doubt the hardest part of this entire thing is the waiting. That and the internet. And the more time you have to wait, the more time there is to search the internet.

One of the first tweets I sent out after I found out I had cancer was, "Great, now WebMD is trolling me. They just DMed me 'Told you it was cancer'." This was a nod to the fact that typing almost any symptoms into the internet comes back with the result that you have some kind of debilitating or terminal illness, when, in truth, you probably have a splinter or a headache. So now imagine you HAVE one of those nasty illnesses. At this point the internet becomes an endless supply of hope and despair depending on which link you click.

When I left the hospital I went home knowing only a few things. I had a large tumor in my colon that was removed and I had two tumors on my liver. They also suspected that I had some cancer in my lymph nodes as that's the method of travel from the colon to the liver. A few days after getting home the phone rang and it was my surgeon. She had some results to give us about the tumor. Voice quaking and hands shaking I dictated to Kim what the surgeon was telling me and she hurriedly jotted down everything. The doctor told me I had what is called Adenocarcinoma. This alone was enough to make my legs go wobbly. What's hilarious is that I had no idea what Adenocarcinoma was, it just sounded SO MUCH scarier than cancer. She told us that the tumor she had removed was completely contained and that the tissue on either side of the tumor was completely clear meaning she had removed the entire thing. She had taken 45 lymph nodes from the area and all 45 came back positive for cancer.

After a quick google session we discovered that Adenocarcinoma is the cancer that occurs 95% of the time in colon cancer. This was great because that's where the bulk of research and treatment have been directed. The other 5% seem to be angry alien cancers where they throw some chemicals at you and hope to hell that they work.

So after the phone call Kim and I sat on the couch, shaking, and reviewed what we had just been told. After letting our heads clear we realized it was an awesome phone call. We found out 3 things we already knew: I had colon cancer, it was in my lymph nodes and liver and that was that. The NEW info was that I had the common cancer and that the tumor they took out was contained and completely removed. It was actually just a bunch of good news. This is the best skill we have. Seeking and finding the positive in every situation.

I get some really funny looks when I say this but I've told everyone who'll listen just how lucky I am. I understand this may seem silly but in reality I've had a string of good luck to get me to the point I'm at. Had the tumor not flopped just so and completely blocked my colon I likely would not have found this tumor in time to do anything about it. Secondly, the fact that the tumor was so large that they couldn't get the stent in forced the surgeon to take out the tumor immediately. This meant I didn't have to sit around for weeks with this thing inside of me worrying about what would come of it. I just went to sleep and woke up with a bunch of cancer taken out. That and a poop bag. I was only 10 days from competing in my 8th Ironman triathlon so from a physical fitness standpoint I couldn't be better off and geographically, I just happen to live in a city with a world class cancer centre. There are SO many people that have it worse than me.

I would be remiss if I didn't address the newspaper article and the outpouring of support I've received from former students, colleagues, hockey officials, triathletes and the community at large. In 12 days over $14,000 has been donated to a Go Fund Me account my cousin set up meaning that after my pay is reduced in February we are able to top up my pay for a further 6 months and when you're feeding 6 people on one paycheque this is absolutely amazing. Not having to stress about money and just focusing on getting healthy is the greatest gift we could receive.

The next step is a lymph node biopsy to verify that the suspicious nodes are cancerous (which I suspect they are). This will take place December 4th. From there the doctors will look at my test results and make an attack plan. I'll let you know how it goes!

Hoka One One Clifton Review

When I first started running and getting into triathlon I read the magazines and the big push at that time was to go minimalist or barefoot. I got on board and ran in shoes that were little more than foot covers. I did a few Ironman races in them but was never comfortable running. Minimalist running shoes certainly have their place but the feet of a Clydesdale runner is not one of them.

A teammate of mine who had had severe hip pain was wearing a pair of absolutely horrendous looking shoes but swore that they had extended his running career by years. I asked what they were and the told me they were Hoka One Ones. They came in offensive colours and the overly thick, cushioned sole were borderline eye sores. However, I decided to give them a try because anyone over 250 lbs that races in a one-piece spandex suit is obviously not overly concerned about how they look.

The difference these shoes made in my running were instant. I started shaving minutes off of my runs and feeling great while I was running. My first two pairs of Hokas were Tarmac Stinsons and I loved them. My first half marathon I ran in them I didn't have to walk a single step. This was a huge achievement for me and is still a watershed moment in my endurance racing career.

When I went to replace my last pair of shoes I discovered that they had discontinued the model that I liked. This always seems to happen to me but I move on and it seems to work out.

The new model I decided to try were the Cliftons. These appeared to be different than the Hokas I had used in the past. Rather than the elastic laces they had traditional tie up laces. The colour scheme was much more "normal" than the previous Hokas I have owned and the biggest difference was the weight. These Cliftons feel about half of the weight of the older models. My greatest concern was that in making them lighter they had reduced the cushioning to the point where they lost the Hoka advantage.

I have run in the Cliftons for about a month now and am happy to report they are everything the heavier Hokas were at a much lighter weight. My greatest complaint about them is the laces. It seems to me that part of the Hoka advantage was the ability for the shoe to adapt to the foot expanding as it struck the ground. The traditional laces didn't allow for this expansion and I felt some tightness across the forefoot but I fixed this quickly with a pair of elastic laces.

The positives of the Cliftons are everything else:
- They look better than some of the earlier models.
- They feel much lighter when running
- My heel feels more locked in than the previous models

The only thing that I'm waiting to see is if the lighter material will be as durable as the heavier models.

Overall I would say the Hoka One One Cliftons are an excellent shoe for bigger runners and show some wonderful technological improvements from the original Hokas.

We do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard

People often ask me why I do the things I do. Usually it's phrased, "why the hell would you do that?" It's not that Ironman is particularly fun, in fact, sometimes it's downright miserable. It's so much bigger than just having a good time, it's about finding out about yourself. Cheesy hey?

Ironman Los Cabos. The hardest race I've done to date.

When, in 2008, my friend and coach Alli and her now husband John first told Kim and I they were taking us to the mountains to go climbing we both just kind of laughed. It turns out John and Alli knew more about Kim and me than we did. We bouldered up some sketchy slopes, came down some scree and by the end of the day we had reached the top of a small mountain and returned back to the base. Our bodies were no different at the end of the day than they were at the start (save for some new scratches and bruises), however, the way we viewed our bodies was completely changed.

We walked a little taller and a little more confidently. We were physically identical to the day before but now we had climbed a mountain. This is the reason you challenge yourself. You have no idea what you're capable of until you go out and try it. Whether it's an endurance race or just getting into an exercise program, your limits are mostly mental.

I think what's most impressive about taking on endurance racing is the fact that the time and dedication required to compete in these events is only worth it if you are intrinsically motivated. At the average Ironman race there are somewhere around 2300 or more racers. Of these, something like 12 pros will win money and 50 people will earn a coveted spot in the World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. And what's even crazier is that only about 300 people have a reasonable shot at one of those Kona spots. So 2000 people train hundreds of hours, spend thousands of dollars and endure 10-17 hours of brutal exercise with no hope or dreams of any prize or reward.  But the really cool thing is that it's worth it.

Sub 12 at 250lbs. Unreal day.

The first Ironman was thrown together from three different races to prove if swimmers, cyclists or runners were the best athletes. And although they could have never guessed what they were starting when they began the swim that day the tag line they used on the first registration form has endured as the Ironspirit: Swim 2.4 miles! Bike 112 miles! Run 26.2 miles! Brag for the rest of your life!

But it doesn't have to be Ironman. My first half marathon was just as big an achievement at the time. I was 300lbs and had no business being on the course. In fact, that day I came dead last ... but I did it. The mental fortitude to finish something that really sucks is not something that can be acquired without pushing yourself. It's not given to you, it's earned. 

I believe the courage that you gain from attempting something so tough is an incredibly transferable skill. Whether it's changing jobs when you're comfortable or going back to school to upgrade your education, diving into something and just doing it changes you. So just go out there and show yourself how amazing you really are!

I like my yoga instructors weird and my Mexican food joints sketchy!

It's funny, certain things are just better in specific contexts. This occurred to me as I was taking a yoga class. The lady leading the class was obviously very well trained but something was missing. As she gave the instructions she seemed just a little too "with it." Her eyes were focused, her speech was clear and her outlook on life was too well adjusted. In order for me to really connect with yoga I need an instructor that has a slight waver in her voice and eyes that are maybe just a touch crossed. They also need to see the beauty in EVERYTHING. I mean everything, like how wonderful it is that the snow is coming down faster than you can shovel it. Despite the fact that it wreaks havoc on the road system and kills off old people with heart attacks she just sees a white blanket of awesome.

This got me thinking about other things that need to be a certain way in order to be enjoyed properly. The next obvious one to me is Mexican restaurants. Living in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada means finding decent Mexican food is next to impossible; partly because our health inspectors are so diligent. When we make our biennial trip to Disneyland one of our favourite things to do on the San Diego leg of the trip is venture into the scary parts of town and get a plate of sloppy deliciousness. A few of the things we are looking for when sizing up a restaurant are:

1) The parking lot has to be full of cars that may or may not be abandoned.

2) The sign out front should be in some form of disrepair. Either sun-bleached or missing letters, whichever.

3) The windows should be barred, and

4) the menu should be so poorly designed that it's almost unreadable and you just tell them what you want and they give you a price.

I have yet to be disappointed by a meal from a scary Mexican joint. This is also why Chipotle will never see my shadow, too nice.

Barbers! I want you to have an accent thicker than scum on a Louisiana swamp. If my half of the conversation isn't mostly awkward laughing at what I think you may or may not have said then I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING MY HAIR!

Baristas! You'd better be pierced or tatted! If you don't look like something from out of this world than how can I expect your coffee to taste out of this world? I need to know that every quarter I drop in your tip cup is one step closer to bigger ear holes or a tattoo about your personal journey.

Tow Truck Drivers! If you pull up to help me with my car you'd better be grizzled. In any other situation you're the type of guy I wouldn't want to share a ride with, or probably even a conversation, but in this instance you're perfect! The larger and hairier the better!

If you have any more please post them in the comments section!

Travelling to a Race. Logistics

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE RACE DAY: You are required to be at an Ironman race two days prior to race day. 2 days prior you register for the race, this means you go to a pavilion of some kind and wait in line. A long line depending on what time you arrive. At the start they will have you sign away your life and provide contact info for you and your loved ones. Then you'll usually get a shoe bag with your bib numbers, your stickers, your transition bags, a race poster, some flyers for some local businesses and often some other goodies. Then you'll get the all-important wrist band. Don't screw this up. Your wrist band is your VIP ticket to everything. The dinner, transition and most importantly the start line! After getting your wrist band you'll go over and get your timing chip which they'll scan to make sure it says your name on the screen and then you're off...... straight into the merchandise tent.

If this is your first time at Ironman take a deep breath before walking into the merchandise tent. You are going to want to buy everything, and rightly so. It is just too cool and man have you worked hard to be here. But just wait, most of the things you see on the shelves will take on a new form on the day after the race. Because the day after the race the jackets, shirts, hats, towels, trailer hitch covers, water bottles and assorted voodoo dolls will all have the word "finisher" added to them. THAT is what you want to buy.

After registration it will usually be around noon or so and you'll want to have something to do to kill some time before that evening's dinner. This is a great opportunity to see what the town has to offer. In Mexico I hung out on the beach, in Coeur d'Alene I caught a movie and in Penticton Canada we took the kids cherry picking. Your mission should be to find something that is low activity and that will take your mind off of the big event. If you let it, it can consume you and make you a wreck. The beach and the orchard were fun but in my opinion a movie is the perfect way to kill time before a race. You get to sit in a quiet, air conditioned room and let a movie take your mind somewhere away from the craziness of racing.

Kelland and Calliah cherry picking in Penticton

Two nights out there is a welcome dinner. This dinner can be in any of a few locations. I've had it in a convention hall, a huge tent, but the most amazing one was on the beach in Los Cabos. Typically they serve salads, buns, pasta and chicken breast. It's usually decent but nothing to write home about. Los Cabos was amazing. The food was beautifully seasoned and presented, the ambiance was spectacular and the setting was stunning. As we were getting our dinner the sun set over the Pacific, pretty cool.

Los Cabos welcome dinner. Not too shabby.

The day before the race you are required to check in your bike and turn in your two transition bags. This is necessary as doing it on race day would be an absolute nightmare. Imagine 2000+ people trying to rack their bikes, put their bags in numerical order, put on their wetsuits and get in the water all before 7am. NOT A CHANCE!!! Make sure that you read your instructions carefully. You bags will all be a different colour and will be place accordingly. So if you put your cycling shoes and helmet in the wrong bag you may come out of the water and grab a bag with running shoes and a hat. Not cool, my buddy Taylor Byars made this mistake in Mexico but luckily caught it race morning.

Bike check-in with Calliah at Ironman Canada 2012

Once you check in your bike and bags, take a practice trip from the swim exit to where your bag will be and then to your bike so you are familiar with the route.

Just some of the bike racks at Ironman Canada. Yikes!

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT ON RACE DAY:  On race day you're probably going to be up early. Wear warm clothes to the race but I would pick some that if they went missing you wouldn't be hearbroken. There are a couple thousand people racing and they all have bags of stuff. Also, after the race when the adrenaline wears off it's not uncommon to be cold and get the shakes so if you've got warm clothes you can put them back on.

You will also have two other bags to bring on race day morning. These are your special needs bags. You can put whatever you want in these bags and will have access to one of them at the half way point of the run and the other at the half way point of the bike.  For the bike some people will put extra CO2 and tubes in the bag, other people will put the gels or bars that they like if they're not the ones being offered by the race. I don't use a bike bag at all but may in the future. For the run I put a pair of dry socks in the bag and if my family's with me my wife usually puts a note in it for me to read. Fortunately my stomach does well with pretty much any fuel but if you're particular about your nutrition you may also want to put some bars and gels in the run bag too. Right after you've turned in your bags go immediately to your bike and check the tires. If something has happened to them over night you've got plenty of time now to get them fixed and filled. There will be a LONG line for the pumps so you'll want to take care of this first.

Bring a decent sized backpack. This is especially important if you're travelling alone. It's so handy after the race to be able to pack the bulk of your things into a backpack and get your bike back to your hotel or vehicle on your back rather than in the four or five bags that Ironman will give you. If you're lucky enough to have people with you, Ironsherpas, they are so great at getting your things back to the hotel and I hope everyone that's helped me at a race knows just how much I appreciate it.

If you are lucky enough to have family or friends with you at an Ironman race they need to know that they will have limited access to you in the finish area and they may have to wait a while for you. My wife has never actually gotten close enough to the finish line at an Ironman race to actually see me finish.  She says the seats at the finish line fill up early!  You'll be able to go out and see them once you're done, but only athletes and race staff are allowed in the finish area. This is because there just isn't enough room for people to bring guests.

My nephew Aiden outside the security fence.

After the race they take amazing care of you. Once you cross the finish line you get your medal, your finisher's shirt and usually a hat. You also get a very nice volunteer. They're going to stay with you and hold your things while you get a picture taken. They get you food and water and whatever else you'd like. They'll take you to the medical tent if you need it or to the massage tent if that suits you. It is absolutely the coolest thing to be treated this way. However, this entire time your loved ones are waiting outside for you. I would suggest that you go out and give them a quick minute of your time if you can physically do it, let most of them get on their way, and then return to the finish area to eat and rehydrate a bit.  My wife tries to speed up this process by bringing me the bottle of whatever alcohol I've packed and a GIANT box of Chinese food.  Not the best for hydration but tasty!

Enjoying my champagne that I brought back from France just for this moment. Ironman Canada 2010.

 Otherwise, it could be an hour or more before you finally make your way out of the finish area. At this point you're going to need to retrieve your bike and your transition bags. You prove these things are yours with your athlete's wristband that has your number on it that corresponds to your bags and your bike. If you are incapable of getting your things, don't worry, they give you a claim ticket so that someone you trust, or a kind-hearted stranger if you're alone, can get your things for you. After this you can finally make your way back to your hotel or vehicle.

THE DAYS AFTER: The sleep after an Ironman should be one of the deepest, greatest sleeps of your life. It typically isn't. Your body is in shock, your muscles are angry and the general discomfort makes it tough at best. That's ok! Time to go and buy that finisher's gear! Get a good breakfast in you and try and get down to the merchandise area early. It will usually open at 7am and there is going to be a line when you get there. If you're like me, you'll be in luck. Most finishers aren't combing the racks looking for XXL stuff. Whatever you do, grab the stuff you think you might want and don't set it down until you've decided for sure you're putting it back. Certain items, like jackets, go quickly and after the race people will be online begging for one. Get yourself something nice, you've earned it.

Now, if you're travelling by air, remember that you're going to need to break down your bike and pack everything you brought with you (don't forget to give away the CO2 you just bought). You probably won't want to schedule an early morning, or even noon flight, unless you're planning on being a fairly fast finisher and getting your stuff packed the night before. I wouldn't plan on doing much else the day after. Take time to eat, relax and relive your race story to anyone that will listen. To many people you've just become a hero, take a week and bask in that.

I hope this has provided any Ironvirgins a look at what their prep will look like for their first journey into long distance tri. 

The Indoor Ironman: Training Long Distance in Canada

It is September 7th and here in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada it is snowing. This means that of the past 12 months we have only had 3 months where it did not snow.

To facilitate my goal of getting to 12 Ironman finishes as quickly as possible, I essentially don't have an "off-season" when it comes to triathlon training. A number of people have asked how I manage to train for these distances almost entirely indoors. This means whether it's 30 above or 30 below I have to get my runs, rides, and swims in and that means trainers and treadmills. Some people might find this to be tedious and boring but there are definitely some benefits to indoor training. The best is that the commute to my gym is 30 seconds!

SEE! Not exaggerating.

Swimming is essentially not an issue. No matter where you swim in the world, pool swims are pool swims. It would be super cool to be able to swim open water with more frequency but when you live a 12 hour drive from the ocean and your lakes are too cold to swim in for the bulk of the year it's just not in the cards. Besides, one of the coolest experiences is swimming in one of glass walled pools in the middle of a blizzard. The picture doesn't do the beauty of it justice. It's like being in the middle of a snow globe.

One of my local pools. Swimming in a snow storm is really cool.

Running and cycling is a whole different ball game. One of the things I've said about running is that the biggest difference between outside and running inside is that when you're outside and you get tired, you still have to chug your way back to where you started. But when you're on a treadmill it is very easy to just press the stop button and be done with the training session. This is the biggest downside to treadmill training, it's just SO easy to quit. However, treadmill training has its own positive side too; the ability to control your environment is a huge benefit to treadmill training. For example, on days when you're supposed to train hills it can be difficult to find a hill in your city that exactly meets the specifications on your program. Additionally, pacing your run is easy. It is tough to accidentally slow down on a treadmill. If you do you'll end up punching a hole in the wall behind you and that's just bad form.

While it may not be the ideal way to train for a marathon, the treadmill makes for a nice alternative to hypothermia and frost bite. Plus, the amount your gait changes by trying to run on icy sidewalks makes it impractical for long distance run training in my opinion.

This is the front street of my house in April. 1 month before Ironman Texas.

As for cycling, there are a great many benefits to cycling indoors. One of my (and my wife's) favourite parts of indoor cycling is that there is no traffic to contend with. With Edmonton being under snow or covered in gravel for 8 months a year it is tough to get cyclists and drivers to get on the same page. This causes some hairy moments and just adds a dimension to training that I don't care for. That being said, cycling on the open highway is absolutely exhilarating and beautiful, but the months that are nice enough to do this are few.

 

The view from the hill where I do my hill repeats. Not too shabby.

As you can see, when the weather permits, my city is beautiful and I do try and take advantage. One thing that is exceedingly tough to simulate on a trainer is hills. There's nothing quite like suffering up a long steep incline that just making your trainer hard to push doesn't match. That being said, when you're on a trainer there is no coasting. To keep the wheels turning you have to keep your legs moving and there's a constant tension on the crank that keeps your legs burning throughout the entire workout. Additionally, city riding means you're constantly stopping at lights and having to take your mind off of your tempo to watch out for vehicles and other hazards that don't exist in the basement. Funny story though, you need to make sure that you completely lock your bike into the trainer. On one of my early trainer rides I hadn't locked it in quite right and when I stood to do a climb my tire dropped down, hit the floor and rocketed me into my couch. My wide heard that commotion and yelled down to find out what had happened and I had to explain that I had just crashed my stationary bike.

I would definitely recommend, if you're going to start training for Ironman indoors you do a few things for yourself. The first would be to set up your own "Pain Cave." A treadmill and bike trainer in your basement that you can get set up as quickly as possible. The more effort it will take to start a workout, the less likely you are to do your workout.  I would also invest in a good quality trainer, if you intend to spend any amount of time on it it's going to be well worth the money to get a quieter trainer with tension you can adjust from your handlebars rather than having to get off and adjust the tension at the trainer itself. My Tacx Flow trainer has served me very well. I've only had to do some very small repairs to the bolts on the trainer but otherwise it has functioned perfectly. Getting a bike trainer versus a spin bike is a much better option in my opinion. the difference between riding your actual bike and a spin bike can be quite great and means the race-specific training benefit is not as great on a spin bike.

I started training in 2009 and just hit 5000 miles (8000 Km) on my bike trainer.

One of the other things I've found helpful is to keep myself surrounded by motivation. In Texas I saw a sign that said, "Run the race that is set before you." I absolutely loved this and when I got home I had my wife look on the internet to see what it would cost to get this made into a wall decal. After a quick search it turns out this if from a Biblical verse and a number of people on Etsy have it available. We contacted a nice lady and she made it to our specs and I'm so happy to have it above me when I train. I'm not religious even a little bit, I just think the sentiment is wonderful. I also have my finisher photos and medals from my 7 Ironman races and they're a nice constant reminder of why I'm suffering in the basement a couple of hours a day.

The medals from my 7 Ironman races are nearby

The final thing you're going to need in your Pain Cave is entertainment. You're not going to last long on your bike without something to take your mind off of the pain. A nice 60" TV does the trick for me. Find a collection of movies or a box set of a TV show that you want to catch up on and go to town. I like to play little games while I'm riding; one of my favorites is a 5 minute high tempo effort whenever my Edmonton Oilers score. It's just a little thing but it adds a dimension of unpredictability to the workout and takes your mind off of that constant drone.

PRO TIP 1: Feed off of the broken dreams of your fellow man. It sounds cruel but unfortunately most people that decide to start an intensive training program don't follow through with it. Kijiji is a great place to find a nice treadmill at a price that will make you smile. When I picked mine up it was still in the box. The lady that had purchased it wanted to get in shape but just didn't follow through.

PRO TIP 2: Get a yoga mat to put under your bike. This has two benefits: 1) The block you put your front wheel into will not slip and slide around. 2) The sweat you produce doesn't end up on your floor.

I hope any hopeful Arctic Ironmen like me have found this a little bit useful. If you have any comments or questions please don't hesitate to fire me an email. Also, please give me a follow on Twitter @trifattytri

Ironman Zurich: Bring Cash

Ironman number 7 was taking me across an ocean to race for the first time. I was extremely excited to be racing in Europe and super happy to have my mom (Iron Sherpa) joining me. Not so excited about the 3:40 am alarm on Thursday morning, but this is the price of doing cool stuff. We arrived at the airport and checked in with plenty of time to get on our flight to Toronto. After hanging out in the lounge we took the first boarding call into our business class seats. I had enough points to go round trip business and my amazing Uncle Bill was cool enough to hook mom up with points so she could join me. 

The first leg was the bumpiest I've ever had. So much so that the flight attendants had to stop service for 40 minutes waiting for better conditions.

From Toronto mom and I were on different flights. I was direct to Zürich and she was via Frankfurt. This was a NEAT experience. In business class over the Atlantic you get a pod, not a seat. This can fold flat to a bed or just be adjusted any way you like to get comfortable. It was a little strange taking off facing at a 45 degree angle but I dealt with it.

I arrived in Zürich at 8am on Friday having only managed 2 hours sleep on the plane and made my way to Starbucks. I ordered my 1/2 sweet fat free caramel macchiato and the barista told me, "9 francs 40." Stunned, I handed him my money and tucked away my change. I had just paid $11 CAD for my coffee. Welcome to Zürich. I sat near the arrivals board and waiting for mom's flight. It was late so I kept a closer eye. Then it popped up red and displayed, "Diverted." What the hell? I made my way to an internet terminal and checked out Lufthansa's site and they said it was canceled. I jumped on Facebook hoping mom would be logged in and sure enough she was. Apparently there was a problem with the pressurization system and so, nearly in Zürich, they turned back because this is Lufthansa's main hub and it was easier to deal with there. Most people took it in stride but one man was evidently quite upset at the decision. Mom doesn't speak German but anger is an international language.

Sadly I hit a curb with my cart and spilt $4 worth of coffee, but it was still yummy.

We agreed to meet up at the hotel so I was on my own to check in to the race and do the first bit of site seeing. It was really interesting to do something so familiar but in a place where you don't speak the language. The signs don't make sense, the instructions don't make sense and the conversations around you are just gibberish. I actually enjoyed the challenge of navigating the registration process in bits of German and charades. I got my package and wandered around the expo. At one of the tents I walked up to a vendor selling some kind of new fangled energy drink and asked, "vas is das?" (What is this?) Apparently this was convincing enough that he went into a 5 minute pitch about the product ENTIRELY IN GERMAN. I just stood there and listened intently and confused. I don't speak German, but I do know people and I read his signals loud and clear. When he made a point about the product I looked impressed, when he seemed inquisitive about my interest I looked him in the eye and nodded and when he got excited I raised my eyebrows and smiled in approval. At the end he handed me a sample of what turned out to be cow colostrum, I downed it, nodded a little, said "Danke. Auf Wiedersehen" Turned and walked away. I'm still convinced he thinks I grasped every word.I also took a lung test at one of the booths and if you hit a certain level you got a free t-shirt so I figured, "what the hell." I blew into the machine and it turns out I have the lung power of a pro athlete, if only I could get the body of one I might be good at this sport.

Hercules Hercules

I met mom back at the hotel and after a quick change it was time to head back to the race area for the welcome dinner. This was our first real intro into the ways of European Ironman. The dinner was traditional pasta and salad but the service was anything but what I was used to. In North America, you line up at a table, grab a plate and as you make your way down the buffet line you take your food and move on to the dining area. In Zürich, there was a row of servers at a counter and you had to navigate your way through a mosh pit to get to the front. You handed them a plate and they handed you back your pasta. At first our Canadianness held us back but eventually our stomachs took over and we began shoving our way to the front. The main problem was that the plates were being guarded by mobbed up Spaniards and Germans who were handing them off to their friends and preventing others from getting to them. We finally broke through the service area and made our way to a table where we sat with two very nice British gents. We relayed how shocked we were about how dinner was conducted and he said with a sneer, "Welcome to Europe. That's how they queue on the continent." He told us about a ski trip he had taken to Whistler and that one of his fondest memories was how well people lined up at the lifts. Apparently in Europe the lines are always a battle royale.

Nice orderly line up

Ring leaders at the front

Completely exhausted we made our way back to the hotel. The 8 hour time change was taking its toll and we needed sleep. In retrospect it was a little silly to plan to arrive half way across the world 48 hours prior to racing but it was not done without ample consideration. The initial plan was to see London for 4 days prior to moving down to Zürich but after realizing this would mean no drinking in the pubs this was quickly changed. PRIORITIES! 

Mom is so pretty

We slept for 13 hours and rolled out of bed at 11am. Just in time to catch the remainder of the hotel breakfast. We had prepaid it so we'd better eat. It was only 16 CHF/person/day. So $19ish CAD, for toast, coffee, juice and some scrambled eggs. ZÜRICH!!! We had to take the tram to the race area to check my bike in for the following day. We asked at the front desk about taking a bike on transit. The clerk told us it was no problem, you just have to buy the bike a ticket as well. So the next day we trundled off down the road, bike in tow and got to the ticket machine. For the low price of 8.40CHF or about $10 CAD you can add a bike to your ticket. You still have to pay your own ticket. 

Check in was fairly similar to North America. The biggest difference I noticed was that you have to wear your helmet and bib number when you check in. I was looking around at all these gomers with their helmets buckled up and standing in line and wondering what was so dangerous about standing around. That was until a tall Swiss fellow with a thick accent told me, "please poot on and fasten zee helmet for zee inspection." Something about that accent you just don't argue with. We got the bags and bike tucked away and headed back into the main part of town in search of Chinese food. The last few races it has become tradition that I eat P F Chang's the night before but since there is no P F Changstein's to be found in Zürich we opted for Chopstick. They had average reviews on Trip Advisor so we thought we'd give to a shot. We weren't expecting a cheap meal, that doesn't exist here, but we weren't looking to break the bank either. In response to the struggle to decide what we should pay for a meal I coined a new phrase, Züreasonable: A price for a good or service that would be exorbitant in a regular market, but is acceptable within Zürich. 

Mmmmm, deep fried cabbage

It had so much promise, so much

For an appetizer we ordered a spring roll each, which was actually much larger than a typical North American spring roll. When this came it looked alright but when we cut into it, it was just cabbage dipped in batter and fried. Oh well, can't win them all. The main course would save the day; chicken chow mein and beef with chutes and pods. The chow mein was an underwhelming plate of noodles whose only flavour was derived from the chili oil and soy sauce that WE added. The beef looked amazing however. Caramelized and darkened with what looked like a Szechuan seasoning. Looks can be deceiving, the meat was tender but lifeless and again was only slightly improved by a considerable dose of chili and soy. Now what would be a fair price for an appetizer, two plates of Chinese food, 1 tap water and 1 iced tea? 51.50CHF or about $62 CAD? ZÜRICH!!! 

It's a bargain at half the price

No matter, we weren't on a cuisine tour, I was here to race. Once back at the hotel I asked the girl at the front desk to book me a taxi for the morning so I wouldn't have to worry about transit. My alarm went off at 4:45 am but as is typical I was already laying there with my eyes open. A mixture of nerves and excitement propelled me out of bed and downstairs for a light breakfast. In typical Swiss fashion my taxi arrived exactly on time and quickly got me to the race site. During the 20 minute ride I quickly watched the meter click over. By the time the ride was over it read exactly 50.00CHF. I asked what that would be in Euros as that was all I had with me. This swindler told me, "is same." I double checked that what he was saying was that in fact it was 50 Euro OR Francs, no difference. He said yeah. This made this cab ride go from $60 to $80. I handed the driver 60 € and he gave me back 10 Francs in change. He even managed to screw me on the change. ZÜRICH!!!

Finally the race:

Swim: Goal 1:10, Actual 1:23:53

The swim in Zürich is odd. It's 2 loops but they're different. The first is a larger rectangular loop and the second is a triangular loop inside the first loop. In between you exit the water, run across a piece of land and jump back in. Kinda fun actually. I felt absolutely spectacular in the swim. My strokes were good, my breathing was smooth and I had open water to myself almost the entire time. By all accounts this was my best open water experience ever. Part of this I attribute to the fact that the organizers so,ot the swimmers into two groups. 1 that expected to finish under 1:10 and another that expected to finish over. As I swam 1:12 in Texas 10 weeks ago I opted to go at the very end of the first group. Perfect decision, no one swimming over me, people ahead knew how to navigate, great decision. So why was I 13 minutes slower than my goal? I found out afterwards that Lake Zürich has a current. The river that it feeds draws the water across the lake at a fair pace and for the crossing section of the rectangle and the entire hypotenuse section of the triangle you are fighting the current. The pro times are even 5+ minutes slower so I felt a little better.

Bike: Goal 6:00, Actual 6:44:25

Great transition into the bike, gear on and out the door in just over 7 minutes. The bike is a 2 loop epic bastard of a course. The first 30km of the ride are flat and fast and build your confidence. Then the hills start. There are 4 real climbs per loop. 2 long semi steep and 2 shorter very steep and they sap your will to live. I was really glad I had trained my hills as much as I had because they were tough here.

I'm sure this would have been a different day if I didn't have as much experience as I do now. Having been in some tough situations on the bike in the past I knew that I just needed to keep my legs moving and get up the hills so I could rest on the way down. For the most part the downhills were a fairly nice grade that allowed you to get some speed and recover a little. One particular descent, however, was a lot of work in its own way. The hill started out with a spot that actually took my breath away. For about 250m the trees beside the road were thick and formed a canopy over the road. This caused a weird sensation where it got very dark and cold for a brief stretch before you emerged on the other side. This was also the start of the fastest descent on the course. On the first lap it was raining and I was in a tighter group of riders so I was a little quicker on the brakes and only hit 73.8km/hr (45.9mph). At the bottom of the hill there was a fairly tight right hand turn that required some hard braking so I was glad I had taken my bike in to Element to get my bike doctor Cam to beef up the brakes. (Thanks Cam! I made it!). By the bottom of the hill my legs were good but my arms were exhausted from braking and holding the bike still to avoid losing control. From here it was a 20km or so flat section back to town where you. Had to tackle heartbreak hill. This is the shorter STEEP section that you do at the end of each lap. This is the only place on the course with any real crowd support but it was needed. By the end of the hill you're standing on the pedals and just hoping you have enough power to get to the top. Back down a short hill and you do it all over again.

Looped courses can either be great or brutal depending on the type of day you're having. On a good day looped courses are awesome because you know where you are and can prepare for what's coming. On a bad day it's awful because every tough section you're reminding yourself, "I get to do this again. Yippee!" On a single loop course it's great because you only see everything once. On the second loop the rain had stopped so it was a little better for visibility and cornering which was nice. This meant that on the second time down the big hill I could tuck a little more and ride the brakes less, I thought. I was flying down the hill at 75.5km/hr (46.9mph) when ahead I could see the flashing blue lights of an ambulance and a course marshall indicating for us to slow down. I got on the brakes and as I passed I saw a man being placed on a spine board with all of his clothes cut off and he was badly cut up. Later on in the race I spoke with a Brit who witnessed it and he said the guy got a speed wobble and lost control at high speed. As he tumbled his helmet came off and when this guy got to him he was only semi-conscious. They ended up taking him by helicopter and as of this writing he was listed in serious but stable condition. I really hope it works out for this poor guy. Ironman is about proving what the human body can endure and he should be in good enough shape to have a fighting chance. I mercifully climbed off the bike and was overjoyed to find that I felt pretty good.

Run: Goal 6:00, Actual 6:07:53

Despite being absolutely wrecked on the bike course I was excited  to be on the run course. I knew I was going to finish the race because I had plenty of time, I just  needed to cover the 42.2km. Last race my feet were cramped up so badly that I could hardly walk so when I got off of my bike I was relieved to find my feet felt fantastic. I started out jogging a little bit but my calves weren't up to it so I walked a decent amount at the start. After about 5km, however, I started to feel much better. My legs had loosened a little and I was able to run probably 200m or more at a time. I didn't think the run course was as advertised though. It is described as pancake flat and it certainly isn't that. There are no big hills but there are a number of sections where you cross overpasses and other elevation changes that are fairly tricky. This came as a bit of a surprise but nothing that couldn't be conquered.

The course begins by heading along a lonely little section towards the outskirts of town before turning and heading back towards a busier part of the city. For the most part you are in treed areas or next to the lake so it's a nice place to be running; the section in town was fairly well supported but the fans in Europe are much different than you find in North America. In NA it's a party atmosphere anywhere there are fans. People dressed in funny costumes, signs held up with jokes or inspirational sayings, music blasting and it's a great feeling all over. In Europe endurance sports appears to be taken much more seriously. In fact, if a fan is cheering for you and you're walking they almost seem personally offended that you aren't putting in a better effort for them. The aid stations were also different. They didn't always offer everything at every station so from time to time my nutrition got a little messed up and towards the end of the first of my four laps I started to lose my gut. For the uninitiated this means you've done something your body doesn't like and you start to feel nauseous. If it gets away on you your race can be in jeopardy because you need to keep fuelling your muscles to continue performing at any level and if it gets bad enough you can start vomiting and dehydrate yourself to the point that you need to quit. Luckily, after adjusting my sugar and water intake I was able to get it back and keep going. 

I'm not sure if all Ironman races in Europe do this but in Zürich each competitor had their nation's flag on their race bib. This was awesome because it allowed you to see who you could talk to and who may have no idea what idea you're talking about. About half way through I met up with a great lady from the north shore of Lake Erie in Ontario. She works as a "higher up" at her school board in Ontario but started out as a lowly teacher like me so we chatted a while when she'd had enough she trotted  off and I just kept walking. I'm not sure why but about half way through the marathon I felt pretty good considering what I'd put myself through and I started running more and more. Each lap you go through a "lap control" station where they'd give you a different coloured wrist band and it was actually kind of fun adding a band each lap, it added a sense of accomplishment that's for sure.

By the time I was half way done the final lap I was down right jovial. I was smiling like a fool and making jokes with anyone that would listen. With about 2km left I caught Nancy from Lake Erie and wished her well. The finish area was quite different than North America also, they had cheerleaders. GORGEOUS, cheerleaders. Not to be outdone I decided to show them my dance moves as well and this was well received by the crowd. After a brief dance with one of these beauties I trotted across the finish line. This was where I noted another distinct difference from North America, at home you are given a volunteer who takes care of you at the finish; they wrap you in a blanket, hold your stuff when photos are taken, get you food and only when they're sure you're fine do they return to receive another athlete. In this race, you were handed an emergency blanket and told where the food was. Fortunately I didn't need assistance but if I had I'm not sure what would have happened. They did have free beer at the finishers' area so I can't judge too harshly. This was a really nice local beer and more than welcome after 14 and a half hours of exercise. I found my mom and collected my stuff and headed for the tram. 

7 down, 5 to go

At the transfer point we got off and had McDonalds and then jumped back on. At this point I had a huge laugh. I had purposefully put myself away from the general population because after a race I have a certain aroma that is displeasing to most. I had hopped up on a shelf at the end of the tram car and apparently this local woman had claimed this as her birthright many moons ago because she sidled up right next to me. What ensued was both sad and hilarious. She started realizing that something wasn't right in the air but rather than move away she pulled out a body spray and coated her face in perfume and pushed her nose as close as she could to the cracked window above the ledge we were sitting on. Rather than move to a seat further down the train she endured this situation half way across town before she finally got to her stop. It was all my mom and I could do to not bust a gut laughing. After this I was actually feeling pretty good so I broke down my bike and got it packed away which was nice because hotel rooms in Europe are, let's say, economical in their space. 

Sorry lady but you sat by me

Little cramped

I try to take a couple of lessons from every race and this was no exception. The biggest thing I learned was appreciation. I had no idea how awesome the spectators were in North America, in Europe Ironman is a competition, in NA it's a celebration of the human spirit. I know it sounds cheesy but the difference is remarkable. I wish I could go back and hug the people that have yelled kind words when I was at my lowest (especially the cute girls). I had just become so accustomed to great crowds that I expected it. I won't make that mistake again. The second thing I will take away is how much I've improved. Despite the fact  that I felt completely wiped on the bike course I turned in a time that was alright. It wasn't outstanding by any stretch but it was faster than a few races where I actually felt better about my performance. I'm really glad I took the opportunity to make this trip and experience a race outside of North America. It was cool to see how things are done here and experience them first hand. That being said, I don't think I'll be back any time soon. Between the cost and the time change adjustment it was definitely taxing and with so many great races in North America I don't need to stray too far from home. Thanks for reading and auf wiedersehen!