The Old College Tri

Ironman Coeur d'Alene was to be Ironman #8 on the way to 12 to get to Kona. Unfortunately it didn't work out but that's actually ok. In the previous 6 weeks I have had 4 procedures to get my liver working again. While my liver was not functioning properly I didn't ride or run the entire time. 6 weeks off of training leading into an Ironman is not the best strategy. Although I did have fresh legs.

The week started out Monday with my regular oncological appointment and blood work. Thankfully everything was good but my doctor was left shaking his head. I told him my plan for the weekend and he just laughed and told me "just don't do anything stupid." I promised a

I wouldn't and went out to the receptionist to get my chemo appointment. I had chemo on Tuesday and that lasts until about noon on Thursday.

I left with my buddy Kris on Thursday and we went about half way to Coeur d'Alene. It was a nice drive and great to share it with a long time friend. Kris was doing his 3rd Ironman and so he had experience so we had a chance to talk about racing and we knew what we were taking about. 

On Friday we were up early and on the road. We got to the border about 11 and were thrilled how good the border guards were. They had a couple of quick questions but let us through pretty quickly. We got in to Coeur d'Alene about 1 o'clock and after checking in to the hotel headed down to Ironman Village to register. This has become anti-climactic; it used to be a really exciting time. Getting your wrist band and checking out the cool tents. Now, unfortunately, it's become more of a chore as it's just another step towards racing. However, we got our stuff and headed out onto the race course so Kris could see it once before racing it Sunday.

One of the biggest breaks for Kris and me was that the Martinez family were in town to race and had rented a basement suite with a parking spot across the street from transition. This is the Martinez family from the famous Animo story so they're great friends and were so generous to share their place with us when we needed parking or a cold drink.

The bike course is not overly technical but it is fairly hilly. And it's not rolling hills, it's significant climbs separated by flats. These long slow climbs can be quite draining physically and mentally so it's nice to see where they end so you can plan for it. After course recon we headed back to the room for a rest before going to Ted 2. I LOVE watching movies at Ironman for a few of reasons. You get to sit in a cool room, relax and take your mind off the race. We got out about 10 and were starving so we jumped across the street for some pizza. Unfortunately the place had just closed so we asked for a recommendation and they told us to try Pepe Caldo. 

We punched this place into the GPS and headed up the hill. We found it pretty easily but upon arrival I decided that the ramp section of the sidewalk was for chumps and launched over the curb and into a spot. I don't take the easy road,sometimes literally. I was confused at first as the front area of the pizza place is also a skateboard shop and I thought I'd gone in the wrong door. Upon further investigation there were pizza ovens in the back so we made our way to the counter and started talking with the two people working. It quickly became evident that they were the owners and were VERY passionate about their business and it showed. After a great chat we made off with our gigantic pizza and headed back to the room.

Saturday, we got up fairly early and packed our transition bags and bikes. We hauled them into transition and after getting them settled we picked up my friend Sarah and her mom and headed into Spokane for some shopping and lunch. The original plan was to continue my tradition and have P.F. Chang's as my day-before meal. Unfortuately Hoop Fest was also on this weekend. This is the largest 3 on 3 basketball tournament in the world and P.F. Chang's is right in the middle of the mayhem. We opted not to go to Chang's and instead went across from the mall to Dragon House.

We met Kris' dad and step-mom at this point and he was so generous and picked up the cheque. Unfortunately, this was the worst Chinese food I've ever had. It was over-sauced and under flavoured. The weirdest part was that they provided crackers with the won ton soup and ketchup and mustard with the main meal. So very very odd.

We headed back to Coeur d'Alene and rested up for the torture test that was to take place the next day. We set our alarms for the ridiculous time of 4am becuase the temperature was predicted to be so hot that Ironman decided to start an hour earlier. This was to protect the pros as much as possible as it meant they would spend less time in the heat. It sucked for us regular folks but we were gonna spend all day in the heat anyway so no big deal.

When the alarm went off it was WAY too early but we had laid out everything the night before so it was essentially grab and go. I knew it was going to be a hot day when, at 4:30am, I was perfectly comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt. Normally I wear sweat pants and a hoodie to the race site as it's too cold otherwise. We met Carlos and Roxi and got all of our stuff together. Roxi was so awesome and handled all of our gear and car keys, etc. so we had nothing to worry about.

We headed down to the swim start area and warmed up and then found our starting area. In Coeur d'Alene you seed yourself based on expected swim finish time and it's great because you don't have to fight with faster people going over the top of you.

The water was much warmer than the previous time I competed here so that was a nice little bonus. When the horn went off I waded into the water and started swimming. This is a really interesting part of an Ironman because you can't win the race here or even get too far ahead, BUT, you can really screw it up. You need to focus on your breathing and controlling your pace. Going off too fast at the start of the swim can make you hyper-ventilate and that's what induces panic. I was really happy with my performance in the water. I came out in 1:24, which is my slowest swim to date, but considering the issues I'd battled leading up to the race I was happy.

Transition took a lot longer than usual. This was because I had a whole new step in my transition. The colostomy bag change. This is a bit graphic but unfortunately my bag didn't hold through the swim so I had a clean up on aisle 7 before I could get out on my bike. Before you can put on a new bag you need to dry the skin completely so this took time but it's my new reality. I was using the Coloplast one-piece bags and they provide an awesome benefit. They don't have a hard ring that pinches when you move and they are self-adhesive so I didn't need to carry paste with me. I had pre-cut 10 of these bags and put 5 in each of my transition bags.

I got on the bike and was careful to start out easy. The bike course is a two-loop course and features two out and backs. The first is a short loop with a short steep hill. I spun this hill and it was very easy. After coming back through town you head out onto the bigger loop. Fairly soon after starting you hit the big hill on the course. It's a 2 mile 6% grade climb. Again, I spun my legs and didn't try to power up the hill and instead just rode easily. This strategy paid off and I never lost my breath. For those that haven't attempted a distance race like this you need to understand the emotional roller coaster you go on. Going up a hill you swear you're going to die or at least spontaneously combust. Then, when you crest that hill and start coasting down it's like angels are singing. Managing the emotional game is just as important as managing the physical part of the race.

As I finished the first 56-mile loop I felt great and saw Roxi and our friend Lisa on the course cheering. I gave them a big smile and a wave and headed off feeling great. Unfortunately 4 miles later I realized my day was over. The temperature was hitting the high of 41 Celcius (104 F) and although I wasn't at a point where I needed to stop, I knew I wasn't going to finish and punishing myself further would not be safe. I kept hearing my doctor telling me not to do anything stupid and I pulled off to the side of the road and flagged down an official. They put in a call for SAG to come and pick me up and I waited next to the road. When the truck showed up he loaded up my bike and my carcass and I joined the other 3 riders already in the truck. He said it was already a busy day and I could tell by the radio traffic asking for pick ups.

After getting dropped off at transition I found Roxi and Lisa and hung out with them. I grabbed my phone and called Kim to tell her what had happened and she was really happy to hear from me. I can only imagine the stress when you see times stop showing up online. You wonder if there's been a crash or something awful has happened. After a quick cry I realized that it was ok. In fact,

after checking the results I saw that 70 people just in my age group dropped out. Nearly 1/3.

I returned to the hotel and grabbed a burger and a nap. After waking up I headed background to the race to cheer on Chris, Carlos and Sarah. Sarah,

The amazing little med student racer turned in around a 12:30 but didn't look super happy coming in. Carlos was a couple of hours later around 14:20. I realized just how hot it was when I was just watching the race and the sidewalk was too hot to even sit on. 

I began to worry about Kris' ability to finish. It was getting late in the day and I was constantly checking in with Kim o see his progress. Unfortunately, the online tracker wasn't working propey so it said that Kris had 2 miles left and only 28 minutes to do it. This would mean he would have to pick up his pace quite a bit to bear the 17 hour cutoff. Needless to say I was thrilled when he showed  up with 19 minutes to go before the cut off. 

Because I had an athlete wrist band I was able to get into the finishers area and hang out with him while he recovered. This was nice because it can be lonely back there when you don't know anyone. After some pizza and a sandwich he was ready to head back to the room. I had already loaded up his stuff so we just had to jump in the van and go. 

After getting back to the room it was pretty easy to fall asleep and we drifted off to get ready for the 11 hour drive home the next day. 

Hoka One One Clifton Review

When I first started running and getting into triathlon I read the magazines and the big push at that time was to go minimalist or barefoot. I got on board and ran in shoes that were little more than foot covers. I did a few Ironman races in them but was never comfortable running. Minimalist running shoes certainly have their place but the feet of a Clydesdale runner is not one of them.

A teammate of mine who had had severe hip pain was wearing a pair of absolutely horrendous looking shoes but swore that they had extended his running career by years. I asked what they were and the told me they were Hoka One Ones. They came in offensive colours and the overly thick, cushioned sole were borderline eye sores. However, I decided to give them a try because anyone over 250 lbs that races in a one-piece spandex suit is obviously not overly concerned about how they look.

The difference these shoes made in my running were instant. I started shaving minutes off of my runs and feeling great while I was running. My first two pairs of Hokas were Tarmac Stinsons and I loved them. My first half marathon I ran in them I didn't have to walk a single step. This was a huge achievement for me and is still a watershed moment in my endurance racing career.

When I went to replace my last pair of shoes I discovered that they had discontinued the model that I liked. This always seems to happen to me but I move on and it seems to work out.

The new model I decided to try were the Cliftons. These appeared to be different than the Hokas I had used in the past. Rather than the elastic laces they had traditional tie up laces. The colour scheme was much more "normal" than the previous Hokas I have owned and the biggest difference was the weight. These Cliftons feel about half of the weight of the older models. My greatest concern was that in making them lighter they had reduced the cushioning to the point where they lost the Hoka advantage.

I have run in the Cliftons for about a month now and am happy to report they are everything the heavier Hokas were at a much lighter weight. My greatest complaint about them is the laces. It seems to me that part of the Hoka advantage was the ability for the shoe to adapt to the foot expanding as it struck the ground. The traditional laces didn't allow for this expansion and I felt some tightness across the forefoot but I fixed this quickly with a pair of elastic laces.

The positives of the Cliftons are everything else:
- They look better than some of the earlier models.
- They feel much lighter when running
- My heel feels more locked in than the previous models

The only thing that I'm waiting to see is if the lighter material will be as durable as the heavier models.

Overall I would say the Hoka One One Cliftons are an excellent shoe for bigger runners and show some wonderful technological improvements from the original Hokas.

We do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard

People often ask me why I do the things I do. Usually it's phrased, "why the hell would you do that?" It's not that Ironman is particularly fun, in fact, sometimes it's downright miserable. It's so much bigger than just having a good time, it's about finding out about yourself. Cheesy hey?

Ironman Los Cabos. The hardest race I've done to date.

When, in 2008, my friend and coach Alli and her now husband John first told Kim and I they were taking us to the mountains to go climbing we both just kind of laughed. It turns out John and Alli knew more about Kim and me than we did. We bouldered up some sketchy slopes, came down some scree and by the end of the day we had reached the top of a small mountain and returned back to the base. Our bodies were no different at the end of the day than they were at the start (save for some new scratches and bruises), however, the way we viewed our bodies was completely changed.

We walked a little taller and a little more confidently. We were physically identical to the day before but now we had climbed a mountain. This is the reason you challenge yourself. You have no idea what you're capable of until you go out and try it. Whether it's an endurance race or just getting into an exercise program, your limits are mostly mental.

I think what's most impressive about taking on endurance racing is the fact that the time and dedication required to compete in these events is only worth it if you are intrinsically motivated. At the average Ironman race there are somewhere around 2300 or more racers. Of these, something like 12 pros will win money and 50 people will earn a coveted spot in the World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. And what's even crazier is that only about 300 people have a reasonable shot at one of those Kona spots. So 2000 people train hundreds of hours, spend thousands of dollars and endure 10-17 hours of brutal exercise with no hope or dreams of any prize or reward.  But the really cool thing is that it's worth it.

Sub 12 at 250lbs. Unreal day.

The first Ironman was thrown together from three different races to prove if swimmers, cyclists or runners were the best athletes. And although they could have never guessed what they were starting when they began the swim that day the tag line they used on the first registration form has endured as the Ironspirit: Swim 2.4 miles! Bike 112 miles! Run 26.2 miles! Brag for the rest of your life!

But it doesn't have to be Ironman. My first half marathon was just as big an achievement at the time. I was 300lbs and had no business being on the course. In fact, that day I came dead last ... but I did it. The mental fortitude to finish something that really sucks is not something that can be acquired without pushing yourself. It's not given to you, it's earned. 

I believe the courage that you gain from attempting something so tough is an incredibly transferable skill. Whether it's changing jobs when you're comfortable or going back to school to upgrade your education, diving into something and just doing it changes you. So just go out there and show yourself how amazing you really are!

The Indoor Ironman: Training Long Distance in Canada

It is September 7th and here in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada it is snowing. This means that of the past 12 months we have only had 3 months where it did not snow.

To facilitate my goal of getting to 12 Ironman finishes as quickly as possible, I essentially don't have an "off-season" when it comes to triathlon training. A number of people have asked how I manage to train for these distances almost entirely indoors. This means whether it's 30 above or 30 below I have to get my runs, rides, and swims in and that means trainers and treadmills. Some people might find this to be tedious and boring but there are definitely some benefits to indoor training. The best is that the commute to my gym is 30 seconds!

SEE! Not exaggerating.

Swimming is essentially not an issue. No matter where you swim in the world, pool swims are pool swims. It would be super cool to be able to swim open water with more frequency but when you live a 12 hour drive from the ocean and your lakes are too cold to swim in for the bulk of the year it's just not in the cards. Besides, one of the coolest experiences is swimming in one of glass walled pools in the middle of a blizzard. The picture doesn't do the beauty of it justice. It's like being in the middle of a snow globe.

One of my local pools. Swimming in a snow storm is really cool.

Running and cycling is a whole different ball game. One of the things I've said about running is that the biggest difference between outside and running inside is that when you're outside and you get tired, you still have to chug your way back to where you started. But when you're on a treadmill it is very easy to just press the stop button and be done with the training session. This is the biggest downside to treadmill training, it's just SO easy to quit. However, treadmill training has its own positive side too; the ability to control your environment is a huge benefit to treadmill training. For example, on days when you're supposed to train hills it can be difficult to find a hill in your city that exactly meets the specifications on your program. Additionally, pacing your run is easy. It is tough to accidentally slow down on a treadmill. If you do you'll end up punching a hole in the wall behind you and that's just bad form.

While it may not be the ideal way to train for a marathon, the treadmill makes for a nice alternative to hypothermia and frost bite. Plus, the amount your gait changes by trying to run on icy sidewalks makes it impractical for long distance run training in my opinion.

This is the front street of my house in April. 1 month before Ironman Texas.

As for cycling, there are a great many benefits to cycling indoors. One of my (and my wife's) favourite parts of indoor cycling is that there is no traffic to contend with. With Edmonton being under snow or covered in gravel for 8 months a year it is tough to get cyclists and drivers to get on the same page. This causes some hairy moments and just adds a dimension to training that I don't care for. That being said, cycling on the open highway is absolutely exhilarating and beautiful, but the months that are nice enough to do this are few.

 

The view from the hill where I do my hill repeats. Not too shabby.

As you can see, when the weather permits, my city is beautiful and I do try and take advantage. One thing that is exceedingly tough to simulate on a trainer is hills. There's nothing quite like suffering up a long steep incline that just making your trainer hard to push doesn't match. That being said, when you're on a trainer there is no coasting. To keep the wheels turning you have to keep your legs moving and there's a constant tension on the crank that keeps your legs burning throughout the entire workout. Additionally, city riding means you're constantly stopping at lights and having to take your mind off of your tempo to watch out for vehicles and other hazards that don't exist in the basement. Funny story though, you need to make sure that you completely lock your bike into the trainer. On one of my early trainer rides I hadn't locked it in quite right and when I stood to do a climb my tire dropped down, hit the floor and rocketed me into my couch. My wide heard that commotion and yelled down to find out what had happened and I had to explain that I had just crashed my stationary bike.

I would definitely recommend, if you're going to start training for Ironman indoors you do a few things for yourself. The first would be to set up your own "Pain Cave." A treadmill and bike trainer in your basement that you can get set up as quickly as possible. The more effort it will take to start a workout, the less likely you are to do your workout.  I would also invest in a good quality trainer, if you intend to spend any amount of time on it it's going to be well worth the money to get a quieter trainer with tension you can adjust from your handlebars rather than having to get off and adjust the tension at the trainer itself. My Tacx Flow trainer has served me very well. I've only had to do some very small repairs to the bolts on the trainer but otherwise it has functioned perfectly. Getting a bike trainer versus a spin bike is a much better option in my opinion. the difference between riding your actual bike and a spin bike can be quite great and means the race-specific training benefit is not as great on a spin bike.

I started training in 2009 and just hit 5000 miles (8000 Km) on my bike trainer.

One of the other things I've found helpful is to keep myself surrounded by motivation. In Texas I saw a sign that said, "Run the race that is set before you." I absolutely loved this and when I got home I had my wife look on the internet to see what it would cost to get this made into a wall decal. After a quick search it turns out this if from a Biblical verse and a number of people on Etsy have it available. We contacted a nice lady and she made it to our specs and I'm so happy to have it above me when I train. I'm not religious even a little bit, I just think the sentiment is wonderful. I also have my finisher photos and medals from my 7 Ironman races and they're a nice constant reminder of why I'm suffering in the basement a couple of hours a day.

The medals from my 7 Ironman races are nearby

The final thing you're going to need in your Pain Cave is entertainment. You're not going to last long on your bike without something to take your mind off of the pain. A nice 60" TV does the trick for me. Find a collection of movies or a box set of a TV show that you want to catch up on and go to town. I like to play little games while I'm riding; one of my favorites is a 5 minute high tempo effort whenever my Edmonton Oilers score. It's just a little thing but it adds a dimension of unpredictability to the workout and takes your mind off of that constant drone.

PRO TIP 1: Feed off of the broken dreams of your fellow man. It sounds cruel but unfortunately most people that decide to start an intensive training program don't follow through with it. Kijiji is a great place to find a nice treadmill at a price that will make you smile. When I picked mine up it was still in the box. The lady that had purchased it wanted to get in shape but just didn't follow through.

PRO TIP 2: Get a yoga mat to put under your bike. This has two benefits: 1) The block you put your front wheel into will not slip and slide around. 2) The sweat you produce doesn't end up on your floor.

I hope any hopeful Arctic Ironmen like me have found this a little bit useful. If you have any comments or questions please don't hesitate to fire me an email. Also, please give me a follow on Twitter @trifattytri

Ironman Zurich: Bring Cash

Ironman number 7 was taking me across an ocean to race for the first time. I was extremely excited to be racing in Europe and super happy to have my mom (Iron Sherpa) joining me. Not so excited about the 3:40 am alarm on Thursday morning, but this is the price of doing cool stuff. We arrived at the airport and checked in with plenty of time to get on our flight to Toronto. After hanging out in the lounge we took the first boarding call into our business class seats. I had enough points to go round trip business and my amazing Uncle Bill was cool enough to hook mom up with points so she could join me. 

The first leg was the bumpiest I've ever had. So much so that the flight attendants had to stop service for 40 minutes waiting for better conditions.

From Toronto mom and I were on different flights. I was direct to Zürich and she was via Frankfurt. This was a NEAT experience. In business class over the Atlantic you get a pod, not a seat. This can fold flat to a bed or just be adjusted any way you like to get comfortable. It was a little strange taking off facing at a 45 degree angle but I dealt with it.

I arrived in Zürich at 8am on Friday having only managed 2 hours sleep on the plane and made my way to Starbucks. I ordered my 1/2 sweet fat free caramel macchiato and the barista told me, "9 francs 40." Stunned, I handed him my money and tucked away my change. I had just paid $11 CAD for my coffee. Welcome to Zürich. I sat near the arrivals board and waiting for mom's flight. It was late so I kept a closer eye. Then it popped up red and displayed, "Diverted." What the hell? I made my way to an internet terminal and checked out Lufthansa's site and they said it was canceled. I jumped on Facebook hoping mom would be logged in and sure enough she was. Apparently there was a problem with the pressurization system and so, nearly in Zürich, they turned back because this is Lufthansa's main hub and it was easier to deal with there. Most people took it in stride but one man was evidently quite upset at the decision. Mom doesn't speak German but anger is an international language.

Sadly I hit a curb with my cart and spilt $4 worth of coffee, but it was still yummy.

We agreed to meet up at the hotel so I was on my own to check in to the race and do the first bit of site seeing. It was really interesting to do something so familiar but in a place where you don't speak the language. The signs don't make sense, the instructions don't make sense and the conversations around you are just gibberish. I actually enjoyed the challenge of navigating the registration process in bits of German and charades. I got my package and wandered around the expo. At one of the tents I walked up to a vendor selling some kind of new fangled energy drink and asked, "vas is das?" (What is this?) Apparently this was convincing enough that he went into a 5 minute pitch about the product ENTIRELY IN GERMAN. I just stood there and listened intently and confused. I don't speak German, but I do know people and I read his signals loud and clear. When he made a point about the product I looked impressed, when he seemed inquisitive about my interest I looked him in the eye and nodded and when he got excited I raised my eyebrows and smiled in approval. At the end he handed me a sample of what turned out to be cow colostrum, I downed it, nodded a little, said "Danke. Auf Wiedersehen" Turned and walked away. I'm still convinced he thinks I grasped every word.I also took a lung test at one of the booths and if you hit a certain level you got a free t-shirt so I figured, "what the hell." I blew into the machine and it turns out I have the lung power of a pro athlete, if only I could get the body of one I might be good at this sport.

Hercules Hercules

I met mom back at the hotel and after a quick change it was time to head back to the race area for the welcome dinner. This was our first real intro into the ways of European Ironman. The dinner was traditional pasta and salad but the service was anything but what I was used to. In North America, you line up at a table, grab a plate and as you make your way down the buffet line you take your food and move on to the dining area. In Zürich, there was a row of servers at a counter and you had to navigate your way through a mosh pit to get to the front. You handed them a plate and they handed you back your pasta. At first our Canadianness held us back but eventually our stomachs took over and we began shoving our way to the front. The main problem was that the plates were being guarded by mobbed up Spaniards and Germans who were handing them off to their friends and preventing others from getting to them. We finally broke through the service area and made our way to a table where we sat with two very nice British gents. We relayed how shocked we were about how dinner was conducted and he said with a sneer, "Welcome to Europe. That's how they queue on the continent." He told us about a ski trip he had taken to Whistler and that one of his fondest memories was how well people lined up at the lifts. Apparently in Europe the lines are always a battle royale.

Nice orderly line up

Ring leaders at the front

Completely exhausted we made our way back to the hotel. The 8 hour time change was taking its toll and we needed sleep. In retrospect it was a little silly to plan to arrive half way across the world 48 hours prior to racing but it was not done without ample consideration. The initial plan was to see London for 4 days prior to moving down to Zürich but after realizing this would mean no drinking in the pubs this was quickly changed. PRIORITIES! 

Mom is so pretty

We slept for 13 hours and rolled out of bed at 11am. Just in time to catch the remainder of the hotel breakfast. We had prepaid it so we'd better eat. It was only 16 CHF/person/day. So $19ish CAD, for toast, coffee, juice and some scrambled eggs. ZÜRICH!!! We had to take the tram to the race area to check my bike in for the following day. We asked at the front desk about taking a bike on transit. The clerk told us it was no problem, you just have to buy the bike a ticket as well. So the next day we trundled off down the road, bike in tow and got to the ticket machine. For the low price of 8.40CHF or about $10 CAD you can add a bike to your ticket. You still have to pay your own ticket. 

Check in was fairly similar to North America. The biggest difference I noticed was that you have to wear your helmet and bib number when you check in. I was looking around at all these gomers with their helmets buckled up and standing in line and wondering what was so dangerous about standing around. That was until a tall Swiss fellow with a thick accent told me, "please poot on and fasten zee helmet for zee inspection." Something about that accent you just don't argue with. We got the bags and bike tucked away and headed back into the main part of town in search of Chinese food. The last few races it has become tradition that I eat P F Chang's the night before but since there is no P F Changstein's to be found in Zürich we opted for Chopstick. They had average reviews on Trip Advisor so we thought we'd give to a shot. We weren't expecting a cheap meal, that doesn't exist here, but we weren't looking to break the bank either. In response to the struggle to decide what we should pay for a meal I coined a new phrase, Züreasonable: A price for a good or service that would be exorbitant in a regular market, but is acceptable within Zürich. 

Mmmmm, deep fried cabbage

It had so much promise, so much

For an appetizer we ordered a spring roll each, which was actually much larger than a typical North American spring roll. When this came it looked alright but when we cut into it, it was just cabbage dipped in batter and fried. Oh well, can't win them all. The main course would save the day; chicken chow mein and beef with chutes and pods. The chow mein was an underwhelming plate of noodles whose only flavour was derived from the chili oil and soy sauce that WE added. The beef looked amazing however. Caramelized and darkened with what looked like a Szechuan seasoning. Looks can be deceiving, the meat was tender but lifeless and again was only slightly improved by a considerable dose of chili and soy. Now what would be a fair price for an appetizer, two plates of Chinese food, 1 tap water and 1 iced tea? 51.50CHF or about $62 CAD? ZÜRICH!!! 

It's a bargain at half the price

No matter, we weren't on a cuisine tour, I was here to race. Once back at the hotel I asked the girl at the front desk to book me a taxi for the morning so I wouldn't have to worry about transit. My alarm went off at 4:45 am but as is typical I was already laying there with my eyes open. A mixture of nerves and excitement propelled me out of bed and downstairs for a light breakfast. In typical Swiss fashion my taxi arrived exactly on time and quickly got me to the race site. During the 20 minute ride I quickly watched the meter click over. By the time the ride was over it read exactly 50.00CHF. I asked what that would be in Euros as that was all I had with me. This swindler told me, "is same." I double checked that what he was saying was that in fact it was 50 Euro OR Francs, no difference. He said yeah. This made this cab ride go from $60 to $80. I handed the driver 60 € and he gave me back 10 Francs in change. He even managed to screw me on the change. ZÜRICH!!!

Finally the race:

Swim: Goal 1:10, Actual 1:23:53

The swim in Zürich is odd. It's 2 loops but they're different. The first is a larger rectangular loop and the second is a triangular loop inside the first loop. In between you exit the water, run across a piece of land and jump back in. Kinda fun actually. I felt absolutely spectacular in the swim. My strokes were good, my breathing was smooth and I had open water to myself almost the entire time. By all accounts this was my best open water experience ever. Part of this I attribute to the fact that the organizers so,ot the swimmers into two groups. 1 that expected to finish under 1:10 and another that expected to finish over. As I swam 1:12 in Texas 10 weeks ago I opted to go at the very end of the first group. Perfect decision, no one swimming over me, people ahead knew how to navigate, great decision. So why was I 13 minutes slower than my goal? I found out afterwards that Lake Zürich has a current. The river that it feeds draws the water across the lake at a fair pace and for the crossing section of the rectangle and the entire hypotenuse section of the triangle you are fighting the current. The pro times are even 5+ minutes slower so I felt a little better.

Bike: Goal 6:00, Actual 6:44:25

Great transition into the bike, gear on and out the door in just over 7 minutes. The bike is a 2 loop epic bastard of a course. The first 30km of the ride are flat and fast and build your confidence. Then the hills start. There are 4 real climbs per loop. 2 long semi steep and 2 shorter very steep and they sap your will to live. I was really glad I had trained my hills as much as I had because they were tough here.

I'm sure this would have been a different day if I didn't have as much experience as I do now. Having been in some tough situations on the bike in the past I knew that I just needed to keep my legs moving and get up the hills so I could rest on the way down. For the most part the downhills were a fairly nice grade that allowed you to get some speed and recover a little. One particular descent, however, was a lot of work in its own way. The hill started out with a spot that actually took my breath away. For about 250m the trees beside the road were thick and formed a canopy over the road. This caused a weird sensation where it got very dark and cold for a brief stretch before you emerged on the other side. This was also the start of the fastest descent on the course. On the first lap it was raining and I was in a tighter group of riders so I was a little quicker on the brakes and only hit 73.8km/hr (45.9mph). At the bottom of the hill there was a fairly tight right hand turn that required some hard braking so I was glad I had taken my bike in to Element to get my bike doctor Cam to beef up the brakes. (Thanks Cam! I made it!). By the bottom of the hill my legs were good but my arms were exhausted from braking and holding the bike still to avoid losing control. From here it was a 20km or so flat section back to town where you. Had to tackle heartbreak hill. This is the shorter STEEP section that you do at the end of each lap. This is the only place on the course with any real crowd support but it was needed. By the end of the hill you're standing on the pedals and just hoping you have enough power to get to the top. Back down a short hill and you do it all over again.

Looped courses can either be great or brutal depending on the type of day you're having. On a good day looped courses are awesome because you know where you are and can prepare for what's coming. On a bad day it's awful because every tough section you're reminding yourself, "I get to do this again. Yippee!" On a single loop course it's great because you only see everything once. On the second loop the rain had stopped so it was a little better for visibility and cornering which was nice. This meant that on the second time down the big hill I could tuck a little more and ride the brakes less, I thought. I was flying down the hill at 75.5km/hr (46.9mph) when ahead I could see the flashing blue lights of an ambulance and a course marshall indicating for us to slow down. I got on the brakes and as I passed I saw a man being placed on a spine board with all of his clothes cut off and he was badly cut up. Later on in the race I spoke with a Brit who witnessed it and he said the guy got a speed wobble and lost control at high speed. As he tumbled his helmet came off and when this guy got to him he was only semi-conscious. They ended up taking him by helicopter and as of this writing he was listed in serious but stable condition. I really hope it works out for this poor guy. Ironman is about proving what the human body can endure and he should be in good enough shape to have a fighting chance. I mercifully climbed off the bike and was overjoyed to find that I felt pretty good.

Run: Goal 6:00, Actual 6:07:53

Despite being absolutely wrecked on the bike course I was excited  to be on the run course. I knew I was going to finish the race because I had plenty of time, I just  needed to cover the 42.2km. Last race my feet were cramped up so badly that I could hardly walk so when I got off of my bike I was relieved to find my feet felt fantastic. I started out jogging a little bit but my calves weren't up to it so I walked a decent amount at the start. After about 5km, however, I started to feel much better. My legs had loosened a little and I was able to run probably 200m or more at a time. I didn't think the run course was as advertised though. It is described as pancake flat and it certainly isn't that. There are no big hills but there are a number of sections where you cross overpasses and other elevation changes that are fairly tricky. This came as a bit of a surprise but nothing that couldn't be conquered.

The course begins by heading along a lonely little section towards the outskirts of town before turning and heading back towards a busier part of the city. For the most part you are in treed areas or next to the lake so it's a nice place to be running; the section in town was fairly well supported but the fans in Europe are much different than you find in North America. In NA it's a party atmosphere anywhere there are fans. People dressed in funny costumes, signs held up with jokes or inspirational sayings, music blasting and it's a great feeling all over. In Europe endurance sports appears to be taken much more seriously. In fact, if a fan is cheering for you and you're walking they almost seem personally offended that you aren't putting in a better effort for them. The aid stations were also different. They didn't always offer everything at every station so from time to time my nutrition got a little messed up and towards the end of the first of my four laps I started to lose my gut. For the uninitiated this means you've done something your body doesn't like and you start to feel nauseous. If it gets away on you your race can be in jeopardy because you need to keep fuelling your muscles to continue performing at any level and if it gets bad enough you can start vomiting and dehydrate yourself to the point that you need to quit. Luckily, after adjusting my sugar and water intake I was able to get it back and keep going. 

I'm not sure if all Ironman races in Europe do this but in Zürich each competitor had their nation's flag on their race bib. This was awesome because it allowed you to see who you could talk to and who may have no idea what idea you're talking about. About half way through I met up with a great lady from the north shore of Lake Erie in Ontario. She works as a "higher up" at her school board in Ontario but started out as a lowly teacher like me so we chatted a while when she'd had enough she trotted  off and I just kept walking. I'm not sure why but about half way through the marathon I felt pretty good considering what I'd put myself through and I started running more and more. Each lap you go through a "lap control" station where they'd give you a different coloured wrist band and it was actually kind of fun adding a band each lap, it added a sense of accomplishment that's for sure.

By the time I was half way done the final lap I was down right jovial. I was smiling like a fool and making jokes with anyone that would listen. With about 2km left I caught Nancy from Lake Erie and wished her well. The finish area was quite different than North America also, they had cheerleaders. GORGEOUS, cheerleaders. Not to be outdone I decided to show them my dance moves as well and this was well received by the crowd. After a brief dance with one of these beauties I trotted across the finish line. This was where I noted another distinct difference from North America, at home you are given a volunteer who takes care of you at the finish; they wrap you in a blanket, hold your stuff when photos are taken, get you food and only when they're sure you're fine do they return to receive another athlete. In this race, you were handed an emergency blanket and told where the food was. Fortunately I didn't need assistance but if I had I'm not sure what would have happened. They did have free beer at the finishers' area so I can't judge too harshly. This was a really nice local beer and more than welcome after 14 and a half hours of exercise. I found my mom and collected my stuff and headed for the tram. 

7 down, 5 to go

At the transfer point we got off and had McDonalds and then jumped back on. At this point I had a huge laugh. I had purposefully put myself away from the general population because after a race I have a certain aroma that is displeasing to most. I had hopped up on a shelf at the end of the tram car and apparently this local woman had claimed this as her birthright many moons ago because she sidled up right next to me. What ensued was both sad and hilarious. She started realizing that something wasn't right in the air but rather than move away she pulled out a body spray and coated her face in perfume and pushed her nose as close as she could to the cracked window above the ledge we were sitting on. Rather than move to a seat further down the train she endured this situation half way across town before she finally got to her stop. It was all my mom and I could do to not bust a gut laughing. After this I was actually feeling pretty good so I broke down my bike and got it packed away which was nice because hotel rooms in Europe are, let's say, economical in their space. 

Sorry lady but you sat by me

Little cramped

I try to take a couple of lessons from every race and this was no exception. The biggest thing I learned was appreciation. I had no idea how awesome the spectators were in North America, in Europe Ironman is a competition, in NA it's a celebration of the human spirit. I know it sounds cheesy but the difference is remarkable. I wish I could go back and hug the people that have yelled kind words when I was at my lowest (especially the cute girls). I had just become so accustomed to great crowds that I expected it. I won't make that mistake again. The second thing I will take away is how much I've improved. Despite the fact  that I felt completely wiped on the bike course I turned in a time that was alright. It wasn't outstanding by any stretch but it was faster than a few races where I actually felt better about my performance. I'm really glad I took the opportunity to make this trip and experience a race outside of North America. It was cool to see how things are done here and experience them first hand. That being said, I don't think I'll be back any time soon. Between the cost and the time change adjustment it was definitely taxing and with so many great races in North America I don't need to stray too far from home. Thanks for reading and auf wiedersehen!

Lead in to Ironman Zurich

In an attempt to get to my 12 Ironman total as quickly as possible I decided to do two races 10 weeks apart. Now, 3 weeks after Ironman Texas I am seriously questioning what the hell I was thinking. I took two days completely off but then, re-energized by my performance in Texas I hit it hard again. That was until the Wednesday after and I got a nice bout of the flu. I took this as a sign from the Tri Gods and shut it down for 5 days.

It's kind of funny, I think I'm most excited about finishing Ironman Zurich to:

1) Get Boris Yeltsin drunk in 5 countries inside of a week and 

2) Get a break from training.

It's not supposed to be this way. It's supposed to be really neat to go across the Atlantic and race in a foreign country.

In retrospect, 10 weeks between Ironman races is doable but I needed to either take a 2 week break from training or change up my workouts so that I actually need to look at my training plan before a session. As it stands, I can recite my training schedule without even a glance at my plan and this make it seem like drudgery. I'm not sure why but when I'm surprised by a workout it's a little easier to go out and do it. 

For the most part I've had decent training sessions but one particular day was a day from hell. I went out for a 3 hour ride and it started swimmingly. Legs felt great, I had a fancy new helmet that made me look uber fast, and the weather was just awesome. That was until I crossed paths with a kamikaze bee. 34km into my ride this asshole bee slammed into my grille and rather than go on his merry way he decided to sting me in the lip. 

It would be a bad enough day getting stung in the face but the problem was I lost my friggin' mind when it happened. I steered myself right into the ditch and crashed. 

The best part of this was that after I got home my father-in-law said, "at least you didn't stop and take a selfie." Everyone started laughing and I had to explain that no, in fact that's exactly what I did. 

No worries, my bike was fine and I jumped back on and took off. The halfway point (50 km) is a small French town called Legal (pronounced Le gal) like French for the gal, but I have a sneaking suspicion that's not what it means. I stopped at the convenience store to refuel and the owner was good enough to give me a couple of band aids for my hand and off I went. 

At 72 km I hit a rock and blew out my back tire. I was actually ok with it because I hadn't changed a tire or used a CO2 cartridge in a while and was happy to get the practice. 

I changed out the tube and about 200m later I heard another small explosion and my back tire was flat again. I knew immediately something was wrong and after an inspection I found my tire was wrecked, not just my tube. This was a bummer as I was 28km from home and large men in spandex are not the most readily picked up while hitchhiking. About 5 minutes later a nice Welsh fellow pulled over and picked me up. He was a cyclist and took pity on me. This made me happy as I'd picked up a cyclist a couple of years ago and it was nice to have it paid back. 

After this race I'm going to time my races with about 6 months between them. Of course, that's after I do Ironman Arizona in November (4 months). This will allow me time to fully recover before starting back up again, but more importantly, it will make the race special again. That's what's missing the most out of this training, the excitement. 

Embrace the Suck! Not just in training but in life.

Usually, "Embrace the suck" is a phrase used by athletes to convince themselves that suffering in training makes the races easier, but it can be a life mantra as well.  Last weekend was my 11th wedding anniversary, my wife's too as it happens, and we were talking about what we've experienced together over the years. The funny thing is, most everything we talked about was the times that things went wrong. But those were the times that made us smile. Obstacles thrown in our way that we managed to shrug off and made us closer and happier together.

Without question the biggest test of our early relationship was our ill-fated trip to San Francisco. Somehow we got it into our heads that we should pack up and head off to the city by the bay for a vacation in the summer of 2000. We hadn't been dating that long but we knew that we were in it for the long haul and I think that made us think we were more grown up than we really were. I was 19 and Kim was 21 and we jumped in my K-car and headed off down the road. We didn't have ANY money so we camped the whole way and ate cup-a-soups for more than half our meals.

Surprisingly, the trip down went without a hitch. We didn't have air conditioning, cruise control or GPS but we didn't miss a beat. In addition to being broke, the exchange rate was the worst it has been in the last 50 years. We were paying $1.61 for every American dollar and it was tough to even justify a chocolate bar at the gas station. It was a lot like Dumb and Dumber, we were on a very tight budget. Unfortunately for us we didn't have a dead bird to sell to the blind neighbour kid for extra cash.

We walked the pier, did the Alcatraz at Night tour and had an absolute blast.

The next day we started for home. At a little town called Garberville, CA we heard a rattling and thought we should pull over and readjust our luggage. Then the oil light came on on the dashboard. Uh oh. I put it in neutral and cruised down the hill into town and pulled into a local mechanic. This guy could have been right out of central casting. He had the coveralls, the floppy hat and the rag in his back pocket. He pulled out a long screwdriver, put it to his ear and held it to different parts of the engine. He shook his head and told us we had blown a connector rod. I made an equally concerned face, (I had no idea what this meant but I could tell this was the right thing to do) and asked how much this would cost. He explained that he couldn't fix that, we'd need to get our K-car towed to Oregon and get a hotel room and then pay to fix the engine. I did some quick math and it was MUCH more than the vehicle was worth. We thanked the guy for his help and drove the car into a parking lot and started walking around town trying to figure out what to do.

We made our way to the Waterwheel Restaurant and got a table. We decided we should try and scrap the car, buy bus tickets and make our way home to Canada. The waitress made some small talk with us and found out our story and she took pity on us. The story made it's way around town pretty quickly and soon, while we were trying how to figure out how to deal with the worst day of our lives, people were popping in to say "hi" to the Canadians. Seriously, like a half dozen separate people came in just to talk to us. We walked across town to the scrap yard and tried to sell the car to them but the only guy that worked there was out with his truck pulling a semi out of the ditch 4 hours away and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. So, back to the Waterwheel. We didn't want to just abandon the car so we decided to try and sell it. To the busboy. For a dollar. The worst part was the guy had to hum and hah over a $1 car! Eventually he decided that, worst case scenario, he could just scrap it for $100 and make a tidy profit so he took it off our hands.

Perfect, problem solved. So we just needed to get home. As it happened, just across the street was the Singing Salmon. What is the Singing Salmon you ask? What ISN'T the Singing Salmon? It is the local record store, UPS courier franchise AND the Greyhound depot. We popped in and asked to buy 2 tickets to Vancouver, BC. As luck would have it, Kim's parents were in Vancouver on holidays and told us to get there and they'd give us a ride home. The ornery fellow in the Singing Salmon said he was closing in 5 minutes and because of our bags wouldn't have enough time to process us before he closed so we'd have to wait until tomorrow. Defeated we walked back across the street to the Waterwheel and sat back down at "our" table. Kim had a brainstorm, one of the few in our time together, and she thought, "hey, if you can buy concert tickets on the phone, why not bus tickets?" This was the pre-internet era so going online wasn't even an option. Greyhound was awesome and told us we just had to stand outside of the local bus depot when the bus pulled up and the driver could sell us a ticket at the next major stop. So, the dick at the Singing Salmon wanted the commission but didn't want to stay a few minutes late. Such a clown.

We went back  to the restaurant and told Kathy, the waitress, the good news. We just needed to be out front of the bus depot at 1am when the bus came. Her eyes got really big. Apparently, one of the solutions to the homeless problem in San Francisco was to give these wayward folks a bus ticket out of town. One of the most common destinations is..... Garberville, CA!

She refused to let us sit outside on the sidewalk until 1 in the morning and instead took us home with her after work for a few hours. She dropped us back off and waited until the bus had us safely on our way. On the 27 hour bus ride to Vancouver we made some friends from Mexico and I played a game that appeared similar to rock-paper-scissors. I didn't know the rules because the kid I was playing against only spoke Spanish and I only speak English, but some how he always won. We had another couple of funny incidents too. In Portland we had a bit of a layover in the bus depot so I sat on a bench just outside the front door. As I sat down a Honda Civic came to a screeching halt right in front of me and the driver asked, "Yo man! You need some batteries?" I said, "uh, no." And he roared off. I was rattled so I went back inside and sat down in a corner. Kim was sitting next to a black guy and he leaned over and asked if she wanted to buy his CD. She instinctively reached over and pulled her purse closer and he did not appreciate this. He started yelling at her that she was a "white bitch" and that he was just a regular dude and she needed to get her head straight.  She walked away and ended up guiding a blind man around the bus depot because he couldn't see where he was going and no one seemed to want to help the poor guy.

Eventually the bus showed up.  Our next stop was in downtown Seattle at 2am. I popped inside to use the washroom and as soon as I crossed the threshold I spun on my heel and walked out. The dirt and smell that hit me were too much to handle and I decided that I'd go on the bus when we re-boarded. If you decide that a Greyhound bus is a better option for you, you know it's bad. After a short stop we were back aboard and on our way to Vancouver where Kim's dad and his lifelong friend's wife Pat picked us up. After that it was smooth sailing all the way back to Edmonton. You've never seen two people so happy to be wedged into the back of a 2 door Sunfire for a 12 hour car ride.

This could easily have been one of the worst experiences of our lives but the stories that Kim and I have gotten out of it are amazing. Plus, we know we can adapt and survive and it has made our relationship stronger.

On our honeymoon we went to Tofino, BC on Vancouver Island.

This beautiful sea-side town has an amazing little hotel called the Middle Beach Lodge. It was BEAUTIFUL! As we parked the car they even had a porch with rain jackets and rubber boots for you to take and walk the beach hand-in-hand looking for seashells. We got to the front desk and asked for our room. The girl at the front desk flipped through the reservations and said, "I don't see your name." We pulled out the brochure of Tofino accommodations and after some digging realized that the phone number I had called were for the previous hotel alphabetically. The Maquinna Lodge. The Maquinna Lodge is tastefully appointed with a wallpapered water pipe running the length of the room and a large hole in the wall we discovered when messing around moving pictures on the wall.   We did, however, have a view of the ocean. Not a great one and you had to look through all of the power lines and over the co-op grocery store but technically you could see the ocean. And we were REALLY close to the neighborhood bar - it was right under our room.  Luckily, the front desk staff realized we had made a mistake and allowed us to cancel the second night that we had booked. This could have been devastating as we had gotten married when I was still in University and we were broke but we just looked at each other and laughed hysterically.

It's experiences like this that can really make you or break you. How do you react when faced with adversity? Do you see the humour and opportunity in these situations or do you freak out and break down? This is not to say that I don't have my occasional spaz outs or overreact to bad news but overall I'm pretty calm, cool and collected and even overly happy about bad situations.

This has been absolutely critical in Ironman racing. When you're feeling exhausted after 5 hours on a bike and some teenager yells at you that you're fat and an elderly gentleman gives you the finger you can either get bummed out or you can laugh at just how ridiculous it all is.

I would strongly urge you to take any opportunity you can to look at a everything life throws at you and find the funny, no matter how hard you have to look.

Ironman Texas

I went into Ironman Texas in a really weird place. I was coming off my mind-numbing performance at IM Arizona where I went sub-12 and essentially had a perfect race. I've spent the last 6 months trying to convince myself, with limited results, that I would be fine with being slower this time. This sounds really good but the truth is that the nature of athletics is one of competition and a constant desire to get better. I think I was in the doldrums, I had completed 5 Ironman races, I was coming off of my best performance and what was I proving by doing another race? This is all ridiculous as every race is its own animal and I need each one of them equally to get to Kona but this one just felt blah.

The reality of the situation was that the hot weather (although cooler than usual for south Texas), the undulating bike course, the wind, and the fact that I did all of my training for this race indoors meant that going sub-12 would be a Herculean feat. I set out my goals ahead of time and picked a realistic but optimistic goal of going sub-13 with the breakdown of a 1:15 swim, a 5:45 bike and a 5:12 run plus 15 minutes for transition (I know this is like 12:30 but there's a buffer).

Mom came with me again and acted as my Iron Sherpa. It's such a huge help to have someone there that can hand you tools when you build you bike or help drag your luggage and just be a general helper. It would be amazing to have my family at the races but the thought of taking 2 adults and 3 small children on an airplane for a weekend where I'm tied up with racing would just be a nightmare financially and logistically.

How does a moth get IN BETWEEN the 2 panes of glass on an airplane?

We landed in Houston, got the baggage and headed off to our little Best Western by the airport. A nice little place that was just for the night as we were headed off to the sweet race hotel the next day. The Woodlands Waterway Marriott was the race hotel and it is awesome. A little more expensive than I'm used to but since mom was paying I felt like it would be worth trying it out, and I was right! This was such a cool area that I saw, without question, one of the most interesting sights I've ever seen. A Ferrari with a triathlon bike strapped on the back. I honestly couldn't decide if it was awesome or the douchiest thing I've ever seen. 

Our room was on the 12th floor which was second from the top and had a nice little balcony. From the balcony you could see the waterway and the race expo. For anyone that's done Ironman you can appreciate being able to walk to all of the events associated with the race and not having to try and find parking everywhere you go. The only downside was that the music and associated construction noise with the finish line area was too loud to leave the window open at night.

The white tents are the race expo, from my hotel balcony

 The next couple of days mom and I did some shopping and caught a movie. I absolutely love seeing movies before a race. It's the perfect environment; a cool place where you can sit down out of the sun and do something that takes your mind off of the impending torture that you're subjecting yourself to. We skipped the race dinner and instead opted to go to the Cheesecake Factory which was a great call. I had a really nice meal and wrapped it up with an unreal piece of carrot cake. Om nom nom! The night before we did what has now officially become a tradition and had dinner at P.F. Chang's. SO GOOD!

In what universe is this a good idea? They were on sale, weird hey?

Apparently Target is French for "buzz kill." This totally ruined my plans.

Race Day:

Being that we were so close to the race site I didn't have to wake up until 5:40am. This was really nice. Kind of a sleep in as far as Ironman's concerned. I put on my sweatsuit and beanie and headed down to transition and by the time I had gotten to the end of the block my shirt was already soaked in sweat. The humidity seemed pretty intense and I started to worry. I'm from the northern most real city in Canada and we don't get heat or humidity very often. In fact, I flew to Las Vegas 2 weeks before the race to train in some heat and we had to de-ice the plane because snow was accumulating on the wings. ON MAY 2nd!!! 

I was unaware just how far it was from transition to the swim start and as I was entering the transition area to put my aero bottle on my bike they were announcing that we had to leave as transition was closing in 5 minutes. "Zoinks!" Fortunately my bike was in good shape and I didn't need to get anything done to it. I started walking towards the swim start, and walking, and walking. It turned out to be about a mile walk. This ordinarily wouldn't be a huge deal but when you're going to cover 140.6 miles in the coming hours that extra mile is just rude man. 

Once in transition I lubed up (let that image sink in) and started putting on my wetsuit. Just as I pulled up on it to get it up my thighs it got really easy to pull on it. I had just blown the crotch out of my wetsuit, 10 minutes before the start. OH COME ON! I was already not feeling super motivated and this was just an extra kick in the junk. This was a deep water start so we started making our way into the water 15 minutes before the gun would go off. I waded out into the water and floated around thinking about the day that was laid before me. I may come off as a goofball and somewhat easy going but when it comes to triathlon I tend to get very spiritual. The day before the race my mom and I went for a walk and she was asking me how I felt about the race. I told her I wasn't sure how I felt about it and that I wasn't sure I was ready. Just then there was a viewing area with a sign that said, "the journey is the reward." As I floated on my back waiting for the start I started think about my late father and told him that I would need his help to get through the day. Just then I looked over and even though it was bright sun the moon was visible. My dad was a huge space nerd and told us his greatest dream was to go to outer space. I'm not a religious person at all but if there is an afterlife I always imagine my dad hangs out around the moon and that where I look when I want to talk to him. Knowing him and how clumsy he was I also imagine that he would go and check out Neil Armstrong's footprints on the moon and ultimately sneeze, erasing them forever.

Within 5 minutes of starting the swim I got kicked right in the face. A pretty good shot actually. This caused my goggles to suction to my left eye and was really painful. I elected to rip off my goggles and made my way, at a 90 degree angle to the other swimmers, to a kayak where I could hang out and replace my goggles. This is like a game of frogger and really kinda fun to do. I got myself settled and back onto the course. At 45 minutes into the swim one of the people next to me accidentally hooked their hand in my goggles and ripped them off my face again. I've never lost my goggles even once in a race and now it's happening a second time. OH COME ON!

It's a really fun course. You go out and back in the main part of the lake and then turn right into a canal that is only about 10 metres wide. This is really fun because you don't need to look too hard to see where you're going. There's walls on both sides and you just swim straight to the finish. I got out of the water in 1:12 and was very happy with that.

I made my way through transition and quickly found my bike. Once on the bike I was very comfortable. This area has quickly become my favourite part of triathlon as it turns out I can cycle pretty well. The course is really pretty, you head out of town very quickly and into the wooded areas north of Houston. It is actually through Sam Houston National Forest and the riding is quite fun. It is overall pretty flat but you make the occasional small climb followed by a short descent where you can build some decent speed. The first 90km (56 miles) was fairly uneventful and I was clipping along nicely. As we headed back into town, however, the wind shifted into our face. Now life started to suck.

There was a group of about 10 of us that stuck together for the most part and we started joking around and talking about just how awful the wind and the roads were on the way back. The pavement on the majority of the course was not nice smooth asphalt, it was chip asphalt that creates a hum through the frame of your bike, into your bones and eventually infiltrates your soul. It's not too bad over short distances but for 100km (60 miles) straight it gets to be a bit of a nuisance. Additionally, the roads in the National Forest were pothole-ridden. Ironman did an amazing job marking the holes with fluorescent tape so you could see them coming. Unfortunately, when you're in a tight pack you don't always see the hole coming, just some dude's spandex clad bum that suddenly jerks to the left and you hammer into the hole and knock a filling or two loose. 

At the 140km mark I did my ceremonial thank you to Roxi Martinez. As I've mentioned before, at Ironman Los Cabos I was so emotionally and physically drained at the 140km mark that I was unsure if I could go on. Just then I saw Roxi, whose 3 sons I've coached and whose husband was racing. I pulled over and hugged her and started to cry. She gave me the strength to carry on and I will never forget this. 

Shortly after this I had a great laugh. Ironman necessitates some traffic snarls and the locals aren't always endeared to us. As we cycled past Magnolia High School there was a truck full of teenage boys that were angry about being stopped and as I passed they yelled, "we can still tell you're fat!" I laughed, but deep down inside I died a little. This was quickly forgotten as two vehicles later an elderly gentleman gave me half of a middle finger. To be fair to him it was 100% of the finger he had left but this made me laugh out loud and brought me back into a happy place. I managed to avoid any major bike damage and rolled into transition in 5:42. 3 minutes ahead of my 5:45 goal.

I didn't escape the bike totally undamaged, however. As I got off the bike it became very apparent that my feet had both cramped. This was a moment of panic for me. As I shuffled from my bike towards our bags full of run gear I honestly wondered if I was going to be able to complete the race. Transition took me almost 11 minutes as I was hoping that my feet would release. They didn't really ease up much and I made my way out onto the run course. 

As I limped down the course I made the decision that I wouldn't quit no matter what, I would force them to pull me off the course either due to medical DQ or based on time running out. It turned out I was being a bit overdramatic and after 3 miles my feet let go pretty well and I was able to jog part time.  At this point it became obvious I was not going to equal my PR and I started to feel sorry for myself. I then saw a sign on the course that said, "run the race that's set before you." It was just sharpie on poster board but it really made a big difference to me. I was able to look at the challenge of cramped feet and see it as just another challenge on my way to Kona.

The run was 3 loops around the lake at the Woodlands and was a really nice atmosphere. The hardest part was trying to run when there was a crowd because nobody wants to walk when people are looking. The place I tried the hardest was a section of the course where the local Lululemon girls had a cheering station. It was a difficult balance running slow enough to appreciate their yoga pants while running fast enough to look like I was very athletic. I think I managed to pull it off, but I was also dehydrated and sunstroked so maybe they weren't even there at all.

The highlight of the run course, for me, was a 20-something guy that had a different sign for each lap of the loop. They were a perfect combination of hilarious and offensive so they were right up my alley. The best of these was a picture of shamed NBA owner Donald Sterling referring to his now infamous comments about black people. The sign said, "140.6 miles, another race I'm not fond of." I started laughing so hard I actually had to take a walking break because I couldn't breathe well enough to jog any more. 

I hauled myself around the course and managed to finish in 6:05, much slower than I'd hoped but I was happy to be done.  I stopped short of the finish and gave my mom a hug and left her with the instructions, "get the car!" I was not prepared to walk the half mile from the finish line to my bike and back. Nope! I'd gone far enough for one day! We had a flight early the next morning so there was no time to waste. We had to get back to the room, break down my bike, eat some dinner and THEN fall asleep.

Mom ordered a pizza from a place just below us and because we were leaving in the morning we only ordered a small pizza. It would be silly to get a big one.

The room key is in the picture for scale. This is a SMALL pizza.

My final tradition at Ironman is to buy the absolute cheapest champagne I could find, pop the cork, have about 2 or 3 sips and then pass out for the night. I was really excited this time as we had a balcony and I was going to blow that cork off into the night. I had my mom take a burst shot so she could get the moment of explosion. As I peeled back the foil I just started laughing. It became apparent that you should spend more than $4 on a bottle of sparkling wine if you want a cork. I had purchased myself  a fine bottle of screwcap champagne. After regaining my composure I decided to give it shake and then just open the cap really fast. This was less spectacular than I had even expected and only resulted in a wet sticky hand and a disappointing dribble of foam. It was perfect!

In retrospect I'm really happy with how the race went. Deep down I knew I wasn't going to equal my PR so being angry about not equaling that time would be foolish. I try to learn something every race and this time there is no doubt in my mind that the best thing I can take away is from that sign, "run the race that is set before you." Don't compare previous days, just take the challenges as they come and rise up to meet them.